Campfire Geeks
by Natsyourlord
Summary: Augh! I HATE Gwen Stephani! She's an evil woman who writes songs about sex' screamed Lee. He ran around in circles until he crashed into a wall and fell down unconscious. Very random. COMPLETE!
1. The Trip Begins

The thing about this piece is, I don't think it makes any sense at all. So if you're a very sensible person, you should read this, coz then it might boost your senseless... ness. Anyway, enjoy!

A/N:I do not own Naruto, which really sucks, because then I would be rich. But I don't. The end.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Tenten sat, thinking.

_Damn, I really like camping, but Mom and Dad won't let me go alone, and I don't know who to ask to go camping with me! Wait... yes, I do! I could ask Neji, and Lee, and Hinata, and Kiba, and Shino, and Kiba, and Ino, and Shikamaru, and Chouji, and Sakura, and Naruto, and Sasuke, and Gaara and Temari and Kankuro if they feel like it! It would be like a little get-together in the woods! And we could stay out for a week if we don't have any missions and toast marshmallows and sing songs and... oh, what am I thinking about it for? I gotta go ask everybody!_ Tenten got up and ran out the door at lght speed, about to ask the first person she met to go camping with her an some pals. (See, I told you this would be a senseless fanfic...)

Naturally, the first person she met was Rock Lee, who was running laps around the village in order to impress his idol, Gai.

"TENTEN-CHAN! HELLO! HOW ARE YOU TODAY?" Lee called to her, skidding to a halt.

"I'm fine, Lee, but I was wondering, would you like to go camping in the woods tomorrow? My family has this little clearing set up that we always go camping in, and I wanted to know if you wanted to come."

"OF COURSE! THE SUNSHINE OF YOUTH WILL ALLOW ME TO DO IT! BESIDES, IT IS GOOD FOR MY WILDERNESS SURVIVAL ABILITIES! I WILL GO CAMPING WITH YOU, TENTEN-CHAN! LET US MEET BY THE GATES OF THE VILLAGE TOMORROW AND THE SUNSHINE OF YOUTH WILL FOLLOW US AND ENSURE THAT WE ARE SAFE!"

"Oookaayyy... thanks again, Lee. See you!" Tenten ran down the streets, looking for a few more of her friends. _Aha! Ino and Shikamaru._

"Hey! Ino, Shikamaru!" Tenten yelled. They spun around, looking for the source of the voice. Their eyes passed over every face but Tenten's. She sweatdropped.

"Guys!" Tenten said again, waving her arms. This time they saw her.

"Oh, hi, Tenten. What's up?" asked Ino. Shikamaru looked at them talking, then up at the clouds, and started daydreaming.

"_Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I am the ruler of the Earth!" cried an all-powerful Shikamaru. "Nothing can stop me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

_"I wouldn't be so sure about that!" called a voice. Shikamaru looked at where it came from. "Naruto..."_

_"Yes! And you are not the ruler of the Earth, coz I am the ruler of this village! I am the Hokage!" Naruto yelled in triumph._

_"You're right. You are the ruler of this village!" Shikamaru raised a hand, and changed Naruto into a six-inch plastic ruler._

_"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

"SHI-KA-MAR-U!" Tenten sceeched in his ear. "DO-YOU-HAVE-A-MISSION-SOON?"

"Wha...? Oh, no. I'll go camping with you, sure." Shika said, snapping back to reality.

"Good. Meet me next week, and bring some camping supplies. We'll be by the gates of the village. See ya then!" Tenten ran off again, bound and determined to find all her friends and ask them if they wanted to come or not. Then (of course), she ran into Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro.

"Guys, will you-"

"No." said Gaara.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"**_WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!" _**Tenten roared, so hard that the Sand Siblings hair blew back and thier clothes rippled in Tenten's sudden outburst. They looked like this: O.O **O**.**O** O.O

"Okay. What do you want to say?" Ever since the One-Tails had been taken out of Gaara, he'd been a lot nicer - and scared more easily - but he was still not very tolerant.

"Well, see, I'm goin' camping up in the woods, and thought that maybe you guys might want to go? Some others'll be there."

"What on Earth makes you think we'd want to go up in a dirty forest and stay there and sleep in tents and toast mashmallows?"

"Aww, c'mon, Gaara," said Temari. "I think you'd enjoy it. Besides, you could sleep in your sand if you want to. It'd be a good experince."

"No."

Temari sighed. "We could always go home and watch Barney and Dora the Explorer and Sesame Street..."

"As I said, what could be more fun?" He blurted. "When do we go?"

"Saturday, 9:00 AM, meet me by the village gates." Tenten said, her face glowing in triumph.

"'Kay, see you then, Tenten. But Kankuro can't make it; he's gonna be on a mission." said Temari.

"Okay." Tenten called back, running off.

"Were you really going to force me to watch Barney?" asked Gaara suddenly.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Things continued like that for a while, until Tenten had asked everyone she'd wanted to ask about the trip. Then she went home, and made up a list of who was coming, what was needed, if they had their own camping gear, ect. In the end, it looked like this:

_**People Coming:**Rock Lee, Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, Gaara and Temari of the Sands, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Neji, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, and Uchiha Sasuke._

_**Suppiles Needed:**six tents, twelve cups of ramen, lighter, hatchet, kindling, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, two jumbo bags of marshmallows, ten cans of soup, flashlight, shovel, weiner dogs, weiner dog buns, water canteens, sleeping bags, spare blankets._

_**Date:** Saturday, July 8th to Saturday, July 15th._

_**Time:** 9:00Am_

_**Forecast:** Mostly sunny, some clouds and a 70 chance of rain on Tuesday._

"Hm. That's about it!" said Tenten when she'd finished. Then she went ot bed and waited for the big day.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Dang, Shikamaru and Naruto still aren't here and it's 9:17 already!" Temari said angrily. "If they don't get their _asses_ over here in the next _ten minutes, _there will be _hell _to _pay!"_ Everyone shrank away from Temari at that.

"Ahum... please calm down, Temari..." Sakura said timidly.

"FINE!" the older girl yelled, then she huffed and crossed her arms. Finally, Naruto and Shikamaru came sprinting down the road. So fast, in fact, that-

"WE CAN"T STOP! LOOK OUT!" cried Naruto. They dashed headlong into Lee and Hinata. Hinata and Naruto both turned deep shades of red, seeing as their mouths were crashed together (I've always wanted to do something like that). Everyone else was shocked.

"Dobe!" yelled Kiba. He reached down and yanked Naruto off Hinata, whose ears had steam flowing from them, that's how embarrased she was.

"GYAH!" cried Naruto, flying into a tree. Everybody sweatdropped.

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... Let's go..." said Tenten nervously.

"Thank god..." muttered Temari. During the trip up to the campsite, it was quite silent, with everyone focusing on carrying their loads on their backs, except for Tenten, who was blabbering on about the camp and how much fun they were going to have.

"...And I packed some scary stories, so that we can read them tonight, and I have some marshmallows, and chocolate, and grahm crackers, so that we can make s'mores, and..."

By now, everyone wanted Tenten to shut up.

"TENTEN, SHU-"

"We're HEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!" Tenten cried. "Everybody pitch up your tents. We can put two in a tent."

"WHO'S GOING TO BE IN WHICH TENT, TENTEN-CHAN?" asked, or rather yelled, Rock Lee.

"Ummm..."_ Hmm, I guess a little matchmaking can't hurt. _"Ino and Shikamaru in the red tent, Sakura and Sasuke in the blue, Lee and Kiba in the green, Naruto and Hinata in the black/purple, Gaara and Temari in the tan/orange, and Neji and I will go in the gray."

"OKAY, TENTEN-CHAN!" Everyone ran around, setting up their tents. Tenten finished first, since she was good at it, so she went around helping everyone else while Neji tried to start a fire. When it was finally going, the last of the tents had been pitched, and the inhabitants were setting up their sleeping bags and food. When most of them were done, they came outside and at around the fire, trying to keep it going.

"Hey, where's Shika and Ino?" Sakura asked suddenly.

"Hm... I dunno." Suddenly, they heard a yell from the red tent.

"SHIKAMARU! YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY EXPECT ME TO LET THIS SLIDE!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just-"

"NO BUTS! I AM OUTRAGED! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?"

"I'M SORRY IF I OPENED YOUR BAG AND SAW YOUR TAMPONS! I HAD NO IDEA-"

"GO AHEAD AND SCREAM IT OUT FOR ALL THE OTHERS TO HEAR, WHY DON'T YOU?"

"INO! I MEAN IT! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HAVING YOUR PERIOD! GOD!" Shikamaru stormed out of the tent, followed by Ino, who was steaming. They went farther out into the woods, and long strings of curses could be heard.

"Holy shit..." muttered Kiba.

"Holy shit's shit..." Temari whispered.

"Was... was that Ino?" asked Sakura. "The Yamanaka Ino with blue eyes and blonde hair? _That _Yamanaka Ino?"

"Yes. I think..." Kiba said. Everyone else just stared in the direction of the shouting like this: O.O

Finally, after about 20 minutes, they came back. Ino's face was red and Shikamaru had a large and considerably swollen mark on his face.

"I know you heard. But if one of you says a word about this, _bad things _will happen to you."

"Define "Bad Things." said Naruto shakily.

Ino's face loomed before him, looking extremely scary all of a sudden. "Falling off a ten-thousand-foot cliff," she whispered. "A kunai in the heart. No ramen for all eternity."

That shut Naruto up.

As for Shikamaru, he brushed past everyone with a scowl. "I'm going to bed until noon," he muttered. "Anyone disturb me, and I'll make them wish they'd never been born." He walked inside the red tent, with Ino glaring after him.

_TBC..._

How was it? I hope no one's too mad at me for making Kankuro not come along, but I just couldn't picture him camping. sorry. Anyway, the next update will come as soon as possible, and if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them. Please R&R!

-Natsyourlord


	2. Bear Wrestling and Ghost Stories

Woo-hoo! In one day I got seven reviews! Everybody keep it up! Anyway, I am going to continue with the stupidity coz apparently everybody loves that. Also, I know how much everybody loves review replies except the people who aren't replied to, so here are my replies:

**maniackiller12: **Thanks! Also... why do you hate your life? Do you have an evil little sister, too?

**Fiona McKinnon:** Oh, don't worry... I will...

**Xx-S H I N O B I-xX:** Okay, sure!

**Saltomie:** Ha, I hate it when I choke on water... thanks for the boredom update (I think).

**Akino blossoms:** Sure! My I.M.'s listed on the my profile page, in case you want to I.M. me.

**Lazy-Azura: **Thank you! I love reviews, even short ones, so write more!

**Kiara Adachi:** I definitely will!

Okay, those replies are posted... ON WITH THE STORY! HOORAY! XD

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_Damn... I thought it was FOOD! Why'd she get so dang angry, anyway? What's the big deal about letting your friends... know... you're having... your... oh. _Nara Shikamaru sat in his tent that he was sharing with Yamanaka Ino. So what, he'd opened a bag of hers... he'd never meant to spill those tampons all over the place. DAMMIT! If only he hadn't been so hungry from his hike up the trail, none of this would've happened.

-Flashback-

_"Darn, I forgot to pack food..." Shikamaru muttered as he fumbled through his bags, looking for even a lousy energy bar. "Hey, Ino, did you remember to pack some grub?" he asked, opening a bag on her side of the tent._

_"No, don't touch tha-" But it was too late. Thebag's contents spilled out all over the floor of the tent, revealing about 10 tampons and 5 pads._

_"You idiot..." Ino whispered in a voice that sent chills down Shikamaru's spine - and not in a good way._

_"Sorry, Ino... maybe you could let it slide-"_

_"SHIKAMARU! YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY EXPECT ME TO LET THIS SLIDE!"_

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just-"_

_"NO BUTS! I AM OUTRAGED! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?"_

_"I'M SORRY IF I OPENED YOUR BAG AND SAW YOUR TAMPONS! I HAD NO IDEA-"_

_"GO AHEAD AND SCREAM IT OUT FOR THE OTHERS TO HEAR, WHY DON'T YOU?"_

_"INO! I MEAN IT! I DID'NT KNOW YOU WERE HAVING YOUR PERIOD! GOD!"_

-End of flashback-

So now, here he was, the genius boy Nara Shikamaru, with a large welt on his cheek and a considerably empty stomach.

"Troublesome."

Meanwhile, outside the tent, the others were having a sort of debate.

"Ino, bring 'im his lunch!"

"Yeah, it's your tent, and while you're in there, try and work things out, okay?"

"Do it! Do it! Do it! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze?"

"Do it, or I'll perform _Desert Coffin _on you."

Everybody stared at Gaara.

Ino took the hot dog and said, "I'll... just go give it to him, okay?" and, after a nervous glance at Gaara, went into the red tent.

"Shika, before anything, I just want to say-"

"I'm not hungry."

"What?"

"You heard me." In reality, he was starving, but he just didn't want to have to talk to Ino right now.

"Shikamaru, look at me."

"No."

"DO IT."

He did.

"Now, I'm gona apoligize, then you can tell me whatever the heck you want to tell me, alright?"

"Okay. Fine."

"First of all, I am very sorry for putting my bag out where you were bound to open it sooner or later. That was my fault. Also, I am sorry I got so mad at you when all that you wanted was some food. I had an energy bar and could have given it to you, so I guess that's my fault too."

"Okay. I'm sorry, too, I guess. I shouldn't go rummaging through other people's stuff... and so, I'm really sorry."

"Thanks."

_Closer..._

_Closer..._

_They were two inches apart..._

"Hey, guys! Come on!" Naruto poked his fat head through the flaps of the tent. Ino and Shikamaru jumped apart.

"Gaara's gonna wrestle a bear with his bare hands! Come on!" Naruto hopped up and down with excitement. "HURRY!" Then he was gone.

"This had better be good." muttered Ino, crawling out with Shikamaru right behind her.

The others stood in a circle around something about twenty meters away. Ino and Shikamaru ran towards them.

Inside the ring of campers, Gaara stood opposite a grizzly bear. Gaara cracked all his knuckles.

"Bring it on."

The bear charged at Gaara, who formed a shield of sand around himself. Mr. Bear (that's what we'll call him) crashed into it, shook his head, and charged again.

After about five minutes of this, Mr. Bear had a concussion, and Gaara picked him up and threw him over a cliff.

"Umm... Gaara? Was that really necessary?" asked Sakura.

"No."

"Then why'd you do it?"

"Because that's what I wanted to do to Naruto." Naruto stepped backwards three steps, then turned and dived into the tent he shared with Hinata. Everybody sweatdropped.

"Oh, you know what? I just remembered a great hiking trail! Wanna come?" said Tenten over-enthusiastically. Temari, Kiba, Sasuke, and Naruto went with her and everybody else went into their respective tents except Hinata, because it was her turn to watch the fire.

Inside Ino and Shika's tent, they continued doing what they'd been doing, AKA making out, until Lee poked his head in the door and they had to threaten him to take away his spandex suits if he told anyone. Lee willingly agreed.

When Tenten, Temari, Kiba, Sasuke, and Naruto got back from the trail, it was already 5:30 PM. Neji pulled out the franks and Tenten got a can of soup, and they all sat around the fire, cooking and eating happily. Then Naruto dropped his beef frank in the fire, but when he reached into the fire to get it out, he got a one-degree burn instead.

"AUGH! MY HAND! MY POOR, POOR, LITTLE HAND! I NEED A PARAMEDIC! HELP! GYAH!" howled Naruto, jumping up and running around in circles until he crashed into a tree and fell over unconsious.

"HOORAY! HE'S DEAD!" cried the oblivious Kiba. He got up and did a little victory dance before tripping over Naruto's unconsious body and falling flat on his face. "Oww..."

"Riiiight..." murmured Neji. Everybody resumed eating, until the moon was up and stars decorated the clear sky.

"You know, tonight's the perfect night for a ghost story." said Tenten. "Should I go first?"

"Okay."

"Alright. Here we go..."

_A long time ago before our father's fathers, and nay, even before their fathers, a town used to exist up here._

_It was a little town, not very big or famous, but it was a good town, mainly because of its inn._

_The people were proud of the inn. It was small, but it had three stories. Each room was finely furnished with oak furniture and a thin carpet. The innkeeper often slept there in one of the rooms, since he had no home._

_One night, when he was sleeping in room four, a strange feeling woke him up. Looking around, at first he couldn't see anything. Then he saw, at the foot of his bed, a man. At first the innkeeper didn't notice anything unusual about the man. Then, to his shock, the inkeeper saw that the man had no legs! They cut off at the knees. The innkeeper was about to yell in surprise, but then the man vanished. Horror dawned on the innkeeper as he realized he'd just seen a ghost._

_A few weeks later, a man checked into the hotel. The innkeeper thought that he looked awfully familiar._

_"Excuse me, but have you ever stayed here before?" asked the innkeeper._

_The man, whose name was Mr. Thompson, said he hadn't. He was here on business, he claimed, and had never visited this town before. The innkeeper nodded in comprehension, then checked Mr. Thompson into room three._

_Later that night, a maid came and said, "Sir, may I have the key to room four? I need to do cleaning in there, I noticed a foul smell coming out."_

_The innkeeper said, "There's no one in room four. I think you're talking about room three."_

_"But room three is vacant," protested the maid, "And room four is locked."_

_The innkeeper got the key to room four. With the maid, he opened the door and stepped inside. On the bed, Mr. Thompson lay, dead, with his legs sliced off at the knees. It was then that the innkeeper remembered where he'd seen Mr. Thompson before. That night, when he'd seen the ghost._

_Why did Mr. Thompson's ghost appear to the innkeeper? No one knows for sure. All that is certain is, even after the village was destroyed by a hurricane, Mr. Thompson's ghost has haunted these woods, looking for his legs. It kills anyone it meets, and can only be pu to rest if it finds its missing legs. Until then, it continues to search, kill, and haunt, until the quest it must do is done._

When Tenten had finished her story, everybody was shivering in fear and were all wide eyed except for Gaara and Neji.

"Man, nothing beats a good ghost story!" cried Naruto, shaking. Hinata was clutching him tightly, obviously scared out of her wits.

"That wasn't scary. It was pathetic." said Gaara flatly.

"Yeah. totally fake." muttered Neji.

"It sure as hell scared me. Where'd you learn that, Tenten?" asked Sakura, clutching Sasuke's hand. Sasuke glanced down at it; the fingers were purple due to lack of blood.

"My dad used to tell it tome all the time when I was little." said Tenten proudly.

"Can we go to bed now? _Please?"_ Said Ino, fear obvious in her voice.

"Uh, yeah, okay." Temari said. "Suuuure..."

So they did.

TBC...

All done! This chapter would have been up a day earlier, but my mom grounded me from the computer and I only god it back because I'm actually going to let her buy me a dress (Shudders, organ music plays in background). HOH, boy. Anyways, keep watching for more and I promise I'll put in more senseless nonsense!

-Natsyourlord


	3. Campfire Musical

Okey dokey, everybody! I am sorry if when thjis is typed your review isn't posted, but that simply means the chapter I'm writing after I see your review will have its reply. Sorry if anyone thought I forgot about it!

Here's the replies to the current reviews:

**HeartAngel:** Yes, I do hate dresses. They're SCARY. Thanks for the compliments; couples are InoShika, NejiTen, NaruHina, SasuSaku.

**yooshene:**Thanks for the words of kindness! To start a story, you go to the searchbar next to the main screen, click "Documents", download your story, go to "Stories", click on "New Story", and it'll guide you from there.

**Kacijo:** Thanks! Plz post more reviews!

Okay! Now that those are done, let's go back to the campsite, huh?

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ino was restless.

It was all Tenten's fault! If she hadn't told such a freaky ghost story, then Ino wouldn't be so scared right now! DAMN TENTEN! GOD! Aw, man! Damn period! It made her be incredibly grumpy all the time!

"Go to hell, period." Ino muttered.

"Did you say something, Ino?" Shikamaru rolled over and looked at her from his sleeping bag.

"No, it was nothing."

"Oh. Well, you seemed pretty upset about that story. Wanna go get the fire started again? I'll bet you're not the only one."

"Umm... Okay."

They crawled out of their tent to see Naruto, Hinata, Kiba, and Lee were already sitting around the fire.

"What are-"

"Hinata couldn't sleep, so I took her out here to try and calm 'er down." said Naruto

"And this _asshole_ couldn't keep his mouth shut. He kept on screaming, 'Gai-sensei! Gai-sensei! Help! He's gonna chop my leg off! Gyah! Mommy! Help!'" said Kiba, jabbing his thumb at Lee.

"Oh, be quiet." muttered Lee. The others grinned.

"How's about a campfire song, eh?" Naruto exclaimed. "I know a great one!"

_Oh, we'll gather 'round the camp-fi-yer and sing our camp-fire song._

_Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_

_And if you don't think that we can sing it fas-ter, then you're wrong,_

_But it'll help if, you just sing, a-holang!_

_BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUM..._

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_

_And ifyou don'tthink thatwe cansing it fa-sterthen you'rewrong!_

_Butit'll helpif, youjust sing, a-holang!_

_Dun, Dun, Dun,_

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-Gsong!_

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-Gsong!_

"And Hinata! GO!"

_"C... A... M... P... F-"_

"And Ino!"

_"C-A...M-P-F-I-R...E-"_

"Lee!"

_"C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!"_

"Kiba!"

_"C-A-M-P... this is stupid."_

"Shikamaru!"

_"snore..."_

_It'll heeeeeeeelp..._

_It'll Heeeheehhelp!_

_Ifyou just sing a-LONG! BOO-YEAH!_

By the end of his song, Naruto standing up on the log he'd been sitting on, both fists raised in the peace-out sign. Everybody else sweatdropped.

"Now, wasn't that relaxing?" he asked, siting down again.

"No." said Kiba

"Oh. Well, I know another one!"

_It's hard to believe,_

_That I couldn't see,_

_You were always there beside me._

_Thought I was alone,_

_With no one to hold._

_But you were always right beside me._

_This feeling's like no other! _

_I want you to kno-ow!_

_I never had someone, _

_Who knows me like you do-o._

_The way you do-o!_

_I never had someone,_

_As good for me as you._

_No one like yo-ou!_

_So lonely before, I finally found!_

_What I've been lookin' fo-o-or._

_I thought I was gone,_

_So good to be heard._

_Don't have to say a wo-o-rd!_

_I thought I was lost,_

_So good to be fo-ound._

_I'm lovin' havin' you a-roooound!_

_This feeling's like no other!_

_I want you to kno-ow!_

_I never had someone_

_Who knows me like you do-o_

_The way you do-o!_

_I never had someone,_

_As good for me as you._

_No one like yo-ou!_

_So lonely before, I finally found!_

_What I've been looking fo-o-or!_

_Do-do-do._

_Do, do-do-do do-do._

_A-bop-bop-bop-bop ba-dop!_

_Do-do-do_

_Do, do-do-do do-do._

_A bop-bop-bop ba-dop._

_DUN!_

Naruto grinned broadly. "Well, whaddo you think?"

"You idiot. That's not a campfire song! That's from High School Musical on Disney Channel!" growled Shikamaru. (No, seriously, it is. If you watched it, it's from the auditions. You know the one at the beginning. The one Ryan and Sharpay sing.)

"Oh," said Naruto. "Was it good?"

"No."

"Okay! I'll just try my favorite!"

No, don't-"

_Together,_

_Together,_

_Together, everyone!_

_Together,_

_Together,_

_C'mon, let's have some fun!_

_Together,_

_We're there for,_

_Each other every time!_

_Together,_

_Together,_

_C'mon, let's do this right!_

_Here and no-ow,_

_It's time for celebration!_

_I fin'ly figured it out!_

_Woa-u-oa!_

_That all our dreams are-_

"STOP!" screamed Sasuke, coming out of his tent. "Do you know _ANYTHING _other than High School Musical songs?"

"Uhh... no."

"Fine! Anyone else got a good song?"

"I do!" called Temari, coming out out of her tent.

"'Kay, let's hear it." said Sasuke.

_Timmy is an average kid,_

_That no one understands!_

_Mom and Dad and Vicky always giving him commands! "BED, TWERP!"_

_The doom and gloom up in his room,_

_Is broken instantly._

_With his magic little fish that grant his every wish,_

_'Coz in reality!_

_They are his ODD parents,_

_Fairly odd parents!_

_Wands and wings!_

_Floaty crowny things!_

_Odd, parents, fairly odd parents-_

"ARGH! Do you people know ANYTHING other that songs from TV?"

"Uhh... No." everybody said simutaneously.

"Okay, then, I'm going. Bye." Sasuke crawled back into his tent.

"You know, I'm feelin' pretty tired. Let's turn in." said Rock Lee. Every one agreed, and crawled into their own respective tents.

About a half and hour later, Sasuke and Sakura snuck out by the fire and-

_DRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Aye, Aye, Aye!_

_Arrrrrrrrrribba!_

_Cirra say lahv?_

_Mila verra._

_I've been reachin', dreamin', shootin' for the stars!_

_Baby, to be numbah one, you've got to raise the baaar!_

_Kickin' and a-scratchin', grindin' out my behst._

_Anything it takes to climb, the ladder of success._

_Work, our, tails off every day-_

"SHUT UP, ALREADY!" everybody else screeched from their tents.

_TBC..._

That took a long time to type mainly because I had to remember all the lyrics. I'm sorry if you hate me because I wasted a chapter on singing, but I've been listening to High School Musical songs all day and I'm trying to get some of it out. Also, The Campfire Song song is from Spongebob, and The song Temari sings is the Fairly Odd Parents theme song, which I'm only saying because some people don't watch Nickelodeon. Please read and review!

-Natsyourlord


	4. Know Your Shinobi

New Chapter! I started writing this thing at 8:20 AM exactly, because while I was asleep I had a brilliant idea, and I'll probably lose the whole thing if I don't write it down, coz that happens a lot with my dreams. Also, I'm going skiing today later with my school on the ski club, so my mom made me go to sleep earlier. I think the Naruto I saw last night has to do with something, 'coz this chapter has a lot of Gaara. I also deleted the last chapter, coz it sucked. so this one is replacing it. (And no, I don't mean Campfire Muusical, I mean the one that _used_ to be Chapter 4.)

Replies:

**maniackiller12:**Yes, I'm only in fifth grade. Kinda shocking, what with the kind of work I do, but during the three-day-wait before I could submit any of my own stories, the only good ones I could find were rated teen, and usually had a lot of fluff in them. So I got used to them, then wrote my own!

**silveraqueen:**I think that High School Musical was good, but you have every right to think it sucks. Thanks for the review!

**Sesshomaru's Mate001:** You were laughing that hard? I didn't think this was all that good.

**Hakaze Akikaze:**Thanks! I don't think I'll be fixing the spelling mistakes, though. Too much work to go through each and every chapter.

**HeartAngel:**All dresses are freaky. Which is why I'lI despise wearing the ones my mom buys me and forces me to wear. GRR!

**Akino blossoms: **My story's that great? Wow. But, I'm not the greatest, my older brother is. I IDOLIZE him.

**DosuTheSoundDrill:**Here's the next chapter. And honestly, you didn't wait that long.

**Kajiko12:**That is sad. Hey, you know what's sadder? Being beaten up for singing them. Which is what happened to me.

**ON WITH THE _REAL _STORY...**

In a little forest North of Konoha, a group of campers were happily getting ready for breakfast.

Then Naruto was flung into a tree.

"You insane IDIOT!" screeched Shikamaru, advancing on him. "How the HELL did you manage to eat all twelve jumbo packs of ramen in one meal? NOW how're we gonna feed you?"

Naruto was still recovering from the shock of being thrown by Shikamaru, so he didn't answer.

"You'll have to live off hot dogs and soup and marshmallows," muttered Gaara. "And if anyone talks again, I will _hurt _them. _Badly."_

It's not really a surprise that everybody stayed quiet after that.

"Ahh, well," said Gaara after breakfast had been eaten. "Looks like I won't be hurting anyone."

Everybody sighed with relief.

"_For now."_

Everybody flinched.

"Let me get something real quick," said Temari, going into her tent. "I think I know how to calm you down, Gaara." (This is one of the ideas I got from my dream.)

She came out again - with a Play Station Portable. Gaara squealed with delight, grabbed the machine, and instanly turned it on.

"I love Neopets!" he cried, bending over the screen in anticipation.

Tenten scratched her head. "Is he playing Neopets:The Darkest Faerie?"

"Yes. The PSP is just about the only thing that can make him cool it."

"Aa."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Meanwhile, in the trees, a man with white hair, a bunch of evil little hamsters with crowns on their heads, and a woman with a video camera watched the scene unfold before them.

"This is going to be good, Kurenai."

"No kidding."

"And then, bring them to our castle. Torture is fun."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Prince Fluffy."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Dang it! Why'd I ever agree to go on this damn camping trip, anyway?" muttered Sasuke. He was trying to read a scroll on ninjustsu, but his mind kept on thinking about how much easier it'd be for him if he'd never gone along.

Outside his tent, there was just enough of a crack between the tent-flaps for Tenten to see the position Sasuke was lying in. _Perfect, _she thought, _Step one of Operation Matchmaker was the sleeping arrangements. Step two... _The girl grinned evilly as she saw a certain pink-haired kunoichi walking towards the tent. When Sakura was just opening the flaps-

"Whoops!" cried Tenten, pushing Sakura a little. She smiled evilly in her mind as Sakura fell right on top of Sasuke - and her mouth on his.

"OMG! I'm so sorry, Sakura!" cried Tenten, pushing her way into the tent. When she saw their position and the looks of shock on their faces, it took every ounce of her willpower not to burst into peals of laughter.

"Sorry, sorry... didn't mean to interrupt your... _moment." _The girl dashed out of the tent, into her own, and started laughing hyserically. Neji walked in, and thought she'd eaten too many hot dogs.

"2319! We have a 2319!" he yelled. Ino, Hinata, Naruto, and Lee all tumbled in, and began giving Tenten CPR.

"Guys! I'm fine! I'm fine!" cried Tenten, pushing them away. "I went into Sasuke and Sakura's tent, and saw them kissing! Oh, my god, it was hilarious!" she panted. Laughing is one thing that can make you gasp for breath.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**Sakura's POV**

Wow... what's happening? I'm... kissing Sasuke? _The _Uchiha Sasuke? Woah... He's such a good kisser. Wait a second... HE IS?

**Sasuke's POV**

Sakura's kissing me. Well, THAT wasn't planned. But it feels kinda nice... Wait! WAIT! What was that?

**Normal POV**

The two got away from each other quickly, then Sakura jumped into her sleeping bag and hid her face under the top layer.

_I'm such an idiot! Sasuke didn't want that to happen! And now I'm totally embarassed! Why does this happen like this? WHY?_

Sasuke just sat there, stunned. Then he stood up and walked out of the tent, almost as though in a trance. When he came across Tenten-

BAM! He hit her in the stomach.

"WTF!" Tenten screamed in Sasuke's face.

"You shouldn't have pushed Sakura." he replied, and walked away.

Everybody stared after him except Gaara, who was still squealing over the delight of the PSP. Suddenly, Kakashi, Kurenai, and the evil hamsters jumped out of the bushed and started tying everybody up.

"WAAAK! NO! MY NEOPETS! THE DARKEST FAERIE WILL KILL THEM!" screamed Gaara as the PSP was taken from him.

_"You - lose." _said the PSP in its robotic tone.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"Shut up, Gaara! Can't you see we've got a bigger problem, here?" muttered Temari, as sher felt a cord wrapping around her wrists, right before a hamster walked over to her and hypnotized her.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sakura woke up in a dark, cold room with a stone floor and walls. She tried to call out, but she discovered she had a gag in her mouth, so so much for that idea. When she tried to remove the gag, she found that her hands were bound by a thick piece of rope.

Once again, so much for that idea.

Looking around, Sakura saw that all the others were in the room, too, tied up in the same fashion as her.

"Everybody alright?" asked Kiba, dropping the gag out of his mouth.

"I-a! Ow a yo a-le oo ak?" (Kiba, how are you able to talk?) cried Naruto through his gag.

"I bit the thing. Wad'you expect, from someone with dog teeth?" he said planitavely. "Now, I need to think o how to get us out of here."

"Ow a-ou us i-ing oo ou inds?" (How about just biting through our binds?)

"Good idea, Lee!" Kiba set to work, chomping his way through everyone's ropes, and from there they could remove their own gags.

"Well, now what?" asked Temari.

"There's no need to plan anything. It's already been done." came a siniister voice. Out of the shadows there stepped - a hamster in a suit?

"Aww, it's so cute!" cried Sakura.

"SHUT UP OR I'LL SHOOT YOU!" yelled the hamster, ripping out a 32-caliber. "I AM _NOT _CUTE!"

Sakura backed away very slowly. She didn't want to get shot.

"I don't want to get shot."

"Well, then, who'd like to experience step one of TORTURE first?" asked the hamster, sounding very evil.

"I'll do it. You've probably arranged a tea party or something." said Gaara, stepping foreward.

"Very well. Follow me." The hamster left with Gaara following. THey went through several twisting hallways until they came to a room with a blue tiled floor and a sign that read _All That _on the wall. It was empty except for a lone director's chair in the middle of the room.

"Sit here and wait." said the hamster, and then he walked away.

Gaara sat still until he suddenly heard a voice coming from... wait, where was it coming from? It seemed to be everywhere.

_**Know Your Stars...Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars...**_

Suddenly, a new voice came.

_**You idiot! It's "Know Your Shinobi!" In case you haven't noticed, we're doing ninja, not TV stars!**_

_**Sorry.**_

_**Start over. And this time, DO IT RIGHT!**_

After a few more seconds-

_**Know Your Shinobi... Know Your Shinobi... Know Your Shinobi...**_

_**Gaara of the Sands.**_

_**He's a bloodthirsty maniac with a desire to kill.**_

"True..." said Gaara in the director's chair.

_**Gaara of the Sands.**_

_**His eyes make him look like a raccoon.**_

"Also true..." muttered Gaara. _This is torture?_

_**Gaara of the Sands.**_

_**has his Mommy tuck him into bed at night!**_

"No she doesn't. My mother is dead."

_**Yes she does... Momma's Boy.**_

"Shut up or I'll kill you."

_**How will you be able to? You don't know where I am... Momma's Boy.**_

"ARGH! IF YOU MUST INSULT ME, MOVE ON TO A NEW INSULT!"

_**Fine... Momma's Boy.**_

"Thank you. Hey... WAIT A SECOND!"

_**Gaara of the Sand.**_

_**eats his toes for dinner every night.**_

"Where the hell did you get that idea?" asked a pissed off Gaara.

_**It's true... Momma's Boy.**_

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! Hey! Are you even listening? asked Gaara. He heard applause in the background, then the hamster came back and returned him to the waiting room, with the others.

"INUZUKA!"

"What?" asked Kiba.

"Follow me. It's your turn."

_TBC..._

DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUH... What will Kiba's _Know Your Shinobi _be like? Where are Kakashi and Kurenai? What is the deal with the hamsters? Why do I sound like a freakin' retard when I say this? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER!

Okay, I've realized something. VERY FEW PEOPLE ever read these little author's notes things, as my brother pointed out. I would like to know just how many of you people actually do. So when you leave a review, which I am ORDERING YOU to do by authorization of an author's footnotes, type 'Foot Locker is really a shoe store, which means it's not really Foot Locker' in your review. I don't care where you do, just do it, so that I know you read this

-Natsyourlord

PS: If it's easier for you, you may also type 'Foot Locker is all a LIE!' I'm just sayin'...


	5. Enter! Kakashi and Kurenai!

OKay, everybody. The 'Foot Locker isn't really a foot locker' thing was rather... um... DERANGED. So I've made a new thing to put in your reviews for my personal satisfaction of knowing that you reviewed. When you do, type, 'Ducks look good with mumps', okay? That's what you MUST put into your reviews.

I have also learned that once my story gets eight chapters (which it WILL, by the way, and more), I will have far too many reviews to answer. So I will stop. However, I just want you all to know that I read over each and every review, and I greatly appreciate every one.

Remember to put 'Ducks look good with mumps' in your review!

**ON WITH THE STORY...**

Kiba was led down the dark passegeways until he came to the _Know Your Stars _room, and sat in the director's chair.

_How is this torture? _he thought. Then he heard the voice.

_**Know Your Shinobi... Know Your Shinobi... Know Your Shinobi...**_

_**Kiba Inuzuka.**_

_**wears his hood all the time so that no one sees his hair is really blue.**_

"What? My hair isn't _blue."_ said Kiba. Akamaru barked in agreement.

_**Kiba Inuzuka.**_

_**thinks Hinata will someday love him.**_

"Well... I _hope _that." confessed Kiba. "I just want her to be happy."

_**Kiba Inuzuka.**_

_**wears a tutu when he goes on missions.**_

"I do _NOT!"_ yelled Kiba. "I wear my jacket, pants, and headband! NOT a tutu!"

_**Yeah, right.**_

"I mean it!"

_**Go back to your dancing lesson... Tutu-Man.**_

"Why don't you shut the fuck up?"

_**'Coz I don't want to."**_

"I want you to! Hello? HELLO! Listen, I think that you have serious PROBLEMS!" More applause played in the backgroud as an angry and confused Kiba was led away by a peppy and happy hamster in a suit.

"What the hell was that?" asked Kiba as he was taken back to the waiting room.

"You'll see... you'll see..." said the hamster, sounding more evil than Kiba could imagine was possible for such a cute little hamster.

When he got back to the room, everyone was gathered around a forty-inch plasma screen TV with their mouths agape.

"Your hair is BLUE?" inquired Ino.

"Y-you want m-me to L-LOVE you?" stuttered Hinata.

"You wear a TUTU when you go on missions?" gaped Naruto.

"That was all a **_LIE_**!" screamed Kiba. Everybody stared at him.

"Oh." said Tenten.

"That's a relief." muttered Sasuke.

"HEY, HEY, HEY!" yelled the hamster. "The rest of you need to go through your... TORTURE. So, Haruno, you come with me."

Sakura stood up reluctantly and, still remembering the gun incident, followed the hamster without blinking an eye. About thirty seconds later, she appeared on the plasma-screen.

_**Know Your Shinobi... Know Your Shinobi... Know Your Shinobi...**_

_**Haruno Sakura.**_

_**She's had Sasuke reject her more times than she can keep track of.**_

"That's true, but why'd you have to bring it up? It's not exactly something I like to think about." said Sakurra in a small voice.

_**Like I care. Haruno Sakura.**_

_**She wants to marry Sasuke and make his dreams come true. That's her lifelong dream.**_

"Hey, How'd you know that? HEY, THE OTHERS CAN SEE THIS, CAN'T THEY? YOU BLURTED OUT MY SECRET TO ALL OF THEM!"

Everybody stared at the screen, but Sasuke looked the most shocked. _Oh, shit, I didn't hurt her _that _much... Did I?_

_**Haruno Sakura.**_

_**She wants to become the next Tsunade and overcome her by a long shot.**_

"Once again.. YOU'RE BREAKING INTO MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!" Sakura screamed. "SHUT UP!"

_**I must ignore... Haruno Sakura.**_

**_You know what? I quit! This job is full of making up insults! _**There was a shuffling sound in the background, followed by muffled shouting and a distaint BANG! Then all was quiet.

"What the hell was that?" muttered Gaara. Everybody was too shocked to speak.

Finally, a new hamster came out and took Sakura away from the room. A few seconds later she came into the waiting room. Everybody noticed she had blood dripping from her hand.

"What the FUCK happened?" asked Neji.

"Uhm... the hamster who was supposed to be making up insults quit, and when an employee of all that came in, he took out a pistol and shot him. The guy's in the hospital now, and we have to go to our next Torture."

"Oh, joy," muttered Temari. "What do we have to do?"

"MUST I say it?" asked Sakura.

"Uh, YEAH." Naruto yelled in her face. She looked at him like this: O.O

"Alrighty, then. We-"

"I'LL tell you that." said an awfully familiar voice. Everybody looked up and saw Kakashi standing there, Kurenai beside him. "Your next form of torture will be one you all may indefinitely enjoy, ne? I'm quite sure you'll love... MAKING OUT WITH THESE PAIRINGS!" he yelled, throwing a small scroll in the air. Naruto, who was closest, grabbed the scroll and opened it.

**SakuraxSasuke**

**InoxShikamaru**

**HinataxNaruto**

**TentenxNeji**

**TemarixRock Lee**

**As for Kiba and Gaara, we do not have any more**

**girls for them to make out with, so we have designated that**

**they watch their "Know Your Stars" tapes until the**

**make-out sessions are over.**

"You're kidding." said Temari, her voice dripping with anger. "I have to kiss _bowling ball head _over there!" She strode over to Kakashi, pointed a finger in his face, and said in a scary tone, "I will NOT do that, understand?"

"If you don't... well, I'll just show you, hmm?" Kakashi pulled out a remote from his pocket and pressed a button on it. A safe fell from the celing, crashing on the floor with a tremendous CLANG!

"That could have landed on you, you know," stated Kakashi. "We also have grand pianos, giand rocks, two-ton-weights, anvils-"

"I get it!" said Temari. But if you make me do this one more time, you are DEAD!"

"Fair enough. Now get with the making out, or..." Kakashi pointed at the safe. There was no need for explanation.

Everyone moved closer to their designated couples.

_Reluctantly..._

_Closer..._

_Closer..._

_**POOT.**_

"Naruto, did you just fart?"

"Um... maybe."

"Well, DON'T!"

"I'm sorry! It was unintentional!"

"Do you even know what that word means?"

"Yes!"

"SHADDAP!" screeched Kurenai. "GET ON WITH TORTURE PHASE TWO OR _SOMEBODY'S _GONNA GET HIT WITH A EAVY OBJECT, GET IT, NARUTO AND SAKURA?"

They both nodded fearfully.

"GOOD!"

_Closer..._

_Closer..._

_**TBC...**_

HAH! I'm so evil... cutting off at that exact second! Also, the Foot Locker thing was gay, so instead, please type **Rubber Sox Have Chicken Pox **in your reviews, so that I know you read this. I will continue once I have exactly 40 reviews, so you'd better start reviewing if you want more!

I finished typing this on Superbowl Sunday, 2006, so I'm just gonna say... "GO STEELERS!" If you feel diffferently, I apoligize, but

I have lived all but a few precious days of babyhood in PA, so I love both football teams. Once again, GO STEELERS!

-Natsyourlord likes candy.


	6. A Deadly Quidditch Match

Wow... I never expected to have 40 reviews so fast! Actually, I got home from school on Tuesday and found out I had 48! YAAAY! Also, in Blue Mountain Ski School, I progressed to a Blue Square student! I'm so damn retarded when I get excited... Anyway, sorry I'm not answering reviews anymore... (dodges piano that falls from Kakashi's rigging) I'M SORRY! My god, you people are MEAN!

**Sakura: **You just made yourself dodge a piano.

**Temari:** The people aren't mean, you are.

**Natsyourlord: **Shut up and let me get on with the story and satisfy the people's raving hunger!

**Lee: **While you're at it, can you send us back to the campsite? I can think of at least 20 good things that can happen to us there.

**Natsyourlord:** I will, in a chapter or so.

**Gaara: **Can. We. Just. Get. On. With. The. STORY!

**Natsyourlord: **I'm typing as fast as I can! Geez!

_**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**_

Kurenai and Kakashi watched as the sets of teenagers got closer...

And closer...

And when the final, reluctant pair (Temari and Lee) started this form of mental torture, Kakashi, in his excitement, pressed the button on his remote.

_**BANG!**_

Everybody stopped the careful making-out to stare at the anvil resting in the middle of the room with wide eyes, and Kiba and Gaara poked their heads in from the hallway.

"Carry on." said Kakashi, as if nothing had happened. Still wide-eyed, the couples went back to their previous activity.

That is, until Hinata started blushing so furiously that she fell over in a dead faint.

Naruto stared at her, but everybody else was too busy trying to avoid kissing very much (although secretly they were all starting to enjoy it) and so he just stood there until Kakashi saw Hinata had fainted, and pressed the button again, this time in anger.

A 1,000-pound weight crashed on top of the silver-haired man. Everybody stared (and no, he's not dead, peoples). Finally, someone thought to call a doctor, and Kakashi was rushed away in an ambulace while all the evil hamsters, Kurenai, and the Chunnin (I know I haven't mentioned it before but they're all 16 and Chuunin in this fic, okay?) all waved and watched it fly off in the direction of the hospital.

"Well, that was random." muttered Sasuke. The others just nodded very, very slowly.

"OMG!" squealed Temari suddenly. "Gaara and Kiba!"

As it turned out, Gaara and Kiba were fine.

That is, if you can call watching yourself be humiliated on a TV show for a half an hour fine.

Gaara's eye was twitching and Kiba... Kiba just sat there, looking distraught, a word which here means, "degraded by watching one's self over and over again in a humiliating manner". (I do not own A Series of Unfortunate Events, either.) On the screen of the 40-inch plasma, it was in the middle of Gaara's _Know Your Shinobi._

_**"Gaara of the Sand."**_

_**"eats his toes for dinner every night."**_

Temari reached over and turned off the DVD player. "Guys? You okay?"

"So... many... insults..."

"So... much... urge to kill..."

"Let's... leave these two alone, alright? In the meantime, why don't we play Quidditch?" (I don't own Harry Potter, OK? I'm just using it coz it's random and I have writer's block.)

"Ok." everyone said in unison. They were led out to a Quidditch pitch in yet another part of the castle. There, they were all given brooms and a quick flying lesson. Then they jumped into the air.

"This is fun!" cried Sakura, flying around the pitch. All of a sudden, 10 bludgers were released onto the field.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

ten minutes later...

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-OOF!" screamed Sakura as she pummled off her broom. These bludges were evil, and controlled from the inside by evil hamsters with controls and seatbelts.

"DIE!" screamed one of the bludgers as it whizzed towards Neji and Sasuke.

"Did that bludger just yell a threat at us?" asked Sasuke.

"Umm... I think s- GYAH!" They were both hit in the backs of the heads with two other bludgers and careened towards the ground.

Naruto and Tenten were watching the scene unfold before them. "This is indefinitely another form of their Torture." muttered Naruto.

"Be ready to be whacked in the stomach with a large metal ball?"

"OH, yeah."

BAM!

Shikamaru had used his big brain to pull Ino and Lee to a spot where the hamsters couldn't see them. In other words, they all sent out bunshins to take their places and flew their brooms around to the front of the castle.

And gasped.

And gasped again.

And gasped a third time.

"My god!" screamed Ino at the authoress. "Will you please stop making us gasp? It's ANNOYING."

**_Fine, whatever. _**muttered NYL.

And then they all gasped again.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY!" screeched Ino.

_**Hey, be glad I'm not making you sing.**_

"That would be better than all this gasping at absolutely nothing."

_**Really? Then I'll make you sing.**_

"Wait, that was sarca-"

_We're soarin'._

_Flyin'._

_There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach._

_If we're tryin'_

_Yeah we're breakin' free._

_**Should I do more?**_

"NO!" all the people screamed.

"We want you to die!" screamed a random person. "You and your accursed High School Musical obsession!"

_**HEY!**_

"Know what? Let's get back to the story, OK?" Shikamaru muttered. Everyone yelled in agreement.

_**Ok, where were we? Oh yeah...**_

They flew up to the front of the castle, but were hit in the heads with flying bird doo.

"Oh. My. EFFIN' GOD!" screamed Ino. The bird poop dripped into her eyes, and she started screaming until she fell off her bed into the hands of a waiting guard, who ran inside an opened door in the wall and didn't close it.

"Well, that was stupid of us." muttered Shikamaru.

"CURSE YOU, NATSYOURLORD!" yelled Lee desperately.

More bird doo fell on his head.

"DAMMIT!"

_TBC..._

Done! Wow, that was written in one day, and my deranged little brother was trying to steal the computer from me so that he could go on So I grabbed his wrist really hard and he ran away screaming and yelling, "I WANT FOOD!" So be grateful you're getting this chapter early. Coz it wasn't easy to write.

-Natsyourlord


	7. Bird Poo and Space Shuttles

Sorry for the long up date, but I'm studying coz the writing PSSA (Pennsylvania State Standerdized Assesment) is next week, and I can only write a little bit at a time. But I'm trying! I mean it!

Also, I just wanna say to my friend Raven, who recently opened a fanfiction accout... YOU ROCK! Thanks for reading my story, Raven! See you in school!

**On with the story...**

Ino was being carried through dark hallways, and she was scared.

_I wish I'd been hit with one of those insane bludgers! instead, I'm here, in the arms of a hamster, and I can't move! DAMN!_

More bird poo landed on her head.

_SCREW IT!_

"Ahem... you're supposed to go here, madam." said the hamster, indicating a large room to his left. Ino went inside, and screamed.

More bird doo.

"You are EVIL, Natsyourlord!" screamed Ino.

_**That doesn't neccesarily prevent me from writing this story, does it? Now, stop hating me, or I'll make it so that the bird poop is on your head.**_

"You... are... a... dirty... filthsome... BLACKMAILER!" Ino screeched. She ran over to the wall and pressed a large red button. An exact replica of Zabuza's sword fell into her hand, and the authoress fell into the story.

"Oh, _shit."_ she muttered, then ran away screaming as Ino followed her, yelling, "YOU'RE GONNA DIE, NATSYOURLORD, YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"

"This is worse than recess!" cried the poor, poor girl, running as fast as her legs would carry her.

**A/N: I'm tired of making myself get killed by Ino. So let's go see how Lee and Shika are getting along, hmm?**

"Put it on, Lee."

"But... my spandex suit..."

"PUT IT ON."

"Okay, okay! Sheesh!"

Shikamaru and Lee walked out of a closet, dressed in little hamster uniforms. (LOL!) They passed by other hamsters, but were paid no attention to by anyone. They went inside a random door, and saw that a lot of hamsters were gathereds around a podium with another hamster on it. (Hamsters are the coolest animals on the planet... except for maybe lemurs)

"Now, we need two volunteers. Let's take... You two! Back there! You can go!" said the hamster at the podium, pointing at Lee and Shika. They were instantly ushered into a large glass door, which was closed behind them. They found themselves in instant darkness.

"What's going on?" asked Lee.

"I dunno. But knowing these furry creatures of death, it can't be good, so-"

_**10... 9... 8... 7...**_

"Lee?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I know what's going on."

"What?"

_**6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... LIFTOFF.**_

"Oh."

The room rocked, and with a sudden blast of light, Lee and Shikamaru saw that they were inside of a rocket ship. In the background, a little radio was playing _Crash _by Gwen Stephani.

"NOOOO! I CAN'T STAND GWEN STEPHANI! SHE'S AN EVIL WOMAN WHO WRITES SONGS ABOUT SEX!" screamed Lee. He ran around in circles until he crashed into a wall and fell down unconsious. (No offense, Gwen Stephani fans.)

The rocket ship vibrated and rode them out to the planet Uranus, where Andy Griffith's mutant zombie blowflies came and covered both boys with mutant zombie blowfly-spit.

"YEEEUCH!" screeched Shikamaru.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Natsyourlord was out of breath, and Ino had cornered her. She was grinning like a lunatic, and she raised Zabuza's sword high in the air. Then, Natsyourlord had an idea.

"Think fast, she cried, taking off her shoe and throwing it at Ino. It hit Ino, and she got knocked back into a large pile of bird poop. Then Natsyourlord whipped out her laptop and typed:

_Ino fell into the pile of bird poop, and while she was getting out, Kurenai burst into the room and took her back to the others in the dungeon/waiting room, while Natsyourlord ran very fast back to her home in Pennsylvania, coz there was a huge snowstorm expected that day and she wanted to post the chapter before the storm hit and cut the power._

Of course, the second she hit the "save" button, all this happened instantly, and Natsyourlord got home where she was very glad to see that the storm hadn't hit yet. (Just in case you live in the area and want to know if this is the same storm as the one you think I'm talking about, it happens today, which is February 11, 2006. Happy wintertime, peoples!)

Then, Shika and Lee returned to Earth, were they were ambushed by hamsters and carried back to the waiting room.

"Your next form of torture," said Kurenai. "Will be to wrestle... MOMO THE LEMUR!" Momo tepped from behind a curtain, wearing boxer shorts and boxing gloves.

"I'll do it!" yelled Naruto. "I saw this guy on Avatar! I wanna wrestle him first!"

"Your funeral." said Kurenai.

_TBC..._

I know, I know... it was short, but this big ice storm is attacking my town right now, and if I don't post it now, I won't get another chance until, like... TUESDAY! So please have mercy! The air outsde is 16 degrees, and the snow's coming down hard. So FORGIVE ME!

In other news, I have recently finished every Shaman King book in my house, AKA volumes 1-6. Shaman King is awesome! If you don't read it, you're an idiot. So in all reviews, put "Shaman King RULES, But Naruto DOMINATES!" so that I know you read this. I know, It's cheesy, but they're officially my two favorite mangas in the world!

-Natsyourlord the Skier


	8. What else could go wrong? Lots!

BOO-Yea! 63 reviews! I wonder if I can make it to 100! Oh, man, would that be great! Also, I had a review in which someone asked me what a period and tampons are. If that person is reading right now, I'd like to say that I am not going to explain under any circumstances, and that if they don't know what they are, then I have no idea why they asked ME. I refuse to explain! It's wrong!

I forgot to add a disclaimer in the previous chapters, so here it is.

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Naruto, or any other published manga/anime. However, I do have a considerable amount of my own manga characters in my sketchbook, and I want to own a hamster. If I DID own Naruto, Kakashi would be ultra-buff, Naruto would wear blue, Tsunade would not have giant boobs, Sakura and Sasuke would get married, Hinata wouldn't be shy, the Ichiraku ramen shop would be called McRamen's, Orochimaru would use his powers for good, Jiraya would get beaten up by more girls than ever, and Yoh and Anna from Shaman King would come in and... OMG I just had a great idea! Read the story below! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA... I'm evil...

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO_

Naruto and Momo stood either side of the floor. Kurenai rung a bell on the side of the room.

DINGDING!

Naruto made a seal. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" He yelled, and a bunch of Nauto clones appeared and rushed at Momo. At the last possible second, Momo jumped, and all the clones poofed away as they crashed into the wall. The real Naruto threw a shuriken at the lemur, who caugh it and returned the throw. Naruto got struck in the leg, and he got really mad.

"Everybody take cover!" cried Naruto. Suddenly, four huge tails erupted from him, his hair bristled, and he grew claws. he sliced at Momo, who dodged and grabbed Kakashi's Large-And-Heavy-Object-Dropper and pressed the button. A safe fell from the celing and squashed Naruto, who was rushed off to the hospital in the same manner as Kakashi. Everyone watched in a stunned silence.

"My N-Naruto-kun..." whispered Hinata. "BRING IT ON!" She screamed suddenly, and ran at Momo with full force, activating the Gentle Fist attack. Amazingly, Momo was struck down after one move, and lay on the ground. Everyone stared at Hinata in a stunned silence.

"How the hell..." muttered Gaara. Neji's, Kiba's, and Ino's mouths suddenly dropped so far they hit the floor. Now everyone was gaping at _them_.

All the gaping continued until a hamster ran in with a cellphone. "Miss Kurenai, you have 10 new voicemail."

"10 voicemail? Jiraya better not've been taking pictures of me in the shower again!" said Kurenai, flipping the phone open and listening to her messages, along with everyone else.

**Hello, Kurenai, this is Icha Icha Paradise production works. We are pleased to inform you that you have made the front page on our next issue! Please call us at 1-800-N-U-D-E for more information. _BEEP._**

**Hey, Kurenai, it's me, Kakashi. I'm calling from the hospital to tell you that, according to Naruto, a lemur squashed him with a safe. Is this true? Please call the hospital and ask for my room number, B-18. I need a witness for these lies. _BEEP._**

**Hello, this is Orochimaru, interviewing people on their best jutsus and how best to capture - I mean, contact - them. If you're interested in the inteview, please call my number. 555-7540. _BEEP._**

**Kurenai, I am a stalker. I will not tell you my real name, but you can call me Oturan Ikamuzu. Give me all of your ramen or prepare to die. _BEEP._**

**This is your fanclub. About the bra you gave us so that we'd leave you alone, we, uh... lost it. Can you give us another one?_ BEEP._**

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! This is Kankuro saying I found out about the terrible things that are happening to my siblings an I'm glad. They deserve to be tortured because they're nothing but idiotic brats! Especially Gaara! I think he's just an ignorant little brat who... sand? What - how- AUUGH! NO! STOP! GYAAAAAAH! _BEEP._**

**Hi, Sasuke! This is your fangirl, Kyomi! I just want to tell you that your code name is adorable! I mean, who'd think that "Kurenai" meant Sasuke! Call me, Sasuke! I'm the one for you! _BEEP._**

**Kurenai, this is the FBI. We have the castle surrounded. Let the campers go. You have 10 minutes to let them go free. If you do not cooperate we will take them forcefully. _BEEP._**

**Kurenai-sensei, this is Shino. I have completed the mission. Tell me when I need to go stalk Gai again. _BEEP._**

**Um... Hi... This is Kyomi again. I'm sorry, I left a message on the wrong machine. Please forget that I exist, Miss Kurenai. Oh, and are you aware that there's a boy in a bright orange jumpsuit outside your door? He calls himself Oturan Ikamuzu, and says he's stalking you for ramen. _BEEP._**

"I will kill Jiraya. All of you, go back to your campsite befor I get ARRESTED!" screamed Kurenai, blowing them all out the window into the arms of several policemen.

"Thank you, kids. Now we need to go and arrest Kurenai for kidnapping you and throwing two men it jail." Just then, Kurenai jumped out the window, screaming, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!" Kurenai landed in a Police Utility Vehicle, which began speeding down the road as FBI men handcuffed her. "Daw, drat!" muttered Kurenai. Everyone else just stared.

"That... was the most insane and freaky thing I have ever seen/heard." murmered Neji. The police led them all into a police car, and took them back to the campsite.

"See ya later, kids. And remember, Kurenai's serving her sentence by cleaning Asuma's house. So you all relax now." With that, the car sped away. The group turned and started hiking the trail to get to the campsite.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"GYAAAAAAAAAH!" shrieked Temari, Sakura, Neji, Tenten, Sasuke, and... well, just about everybody.

The campsite was a mess. Food was scattered everywhere, and the tents were lopsided.

"How. The. Hell. Did. This. HAPPEN?" Tenten screamed. "This stuff cost me over 20,000 yen! And LOOK what happens! LOOK!"

Evewrybody stepped away from Tenten, seeing as she had whipped out a gigantic katana and was prancing around the camp angrily, slashing at the ground and at a chipmunk who happened to be crawling around nearby.

"WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG?" she yelled into the heavens.

"Um... at least it's a nice day." said Gaara, gesturing at the clear blue sky. Suddenly, clouds filled it up in about two seconds and began pouring rain. "I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!" screamed Tenten.

"Shelter!" cried Shikamaru, using his huge brain to locate an empty mountain house about a half a mile from where they were. With the group's ninja techniques, they managed to get there quite quickly. But Tenten was still mad.

"20,000 YEN! I AM COMPLETELY BROKE! WHO WRECKED OUR CAMPSITE!" she hollered, pointing a dripping finger in everybody's faces. Sasuke trie to cover her mouth with his hand, but she bit him.

"How the hell do we get her to calm down? At this rate, she's going to go on a massacre!" Sasuke whispere to Gaara as Tenten begain laughing maniacally.

"Surprise." Gaara muttered back.

"How do we give her enough of a shock to get ther to be quiet?"

"Uh... I know!"

"What is it?"

"Have Neji kiss her."

"WHAT?"

"You know, it might be fun to join her in that massacre..."

Sasuke leaned over to Neji. "Neji, kiss her."

"WHAT?"

"That's what I said when Gaara suggested it!"

"In the mood she's in? She'll bite my lips off!"

"Do it or she'll go on a killing spree!"

"FINE!" With that, Neji went up to Tenten, who, by the way, was dangerously close to havin a seziure, and kissed her.

Everyone went, "Oooooooooh..." and Neji began to blush furiously.

"Hey, look!" cried Kiba. "Her face isn't purple anymore!"

Neji pulled away from Tenten, who was standing there with a strange look on her face, as though someone had gushed her with a Storm 2000 water gun. She went to Neji with a dangerous look in her eyes. "Who," she said, her voice hoarse. "Told you to do that?"

"It was Sasuke!" cried Neji, dropping to his knees and sobbing. "And he heard it from Gaara!"

Tenten went into the kitchen for a moment, then came out with a large and noticably sharp vegetable knife in her hand. In the other was an iron pan.

"Run." she said in a frightning voice. "Run fast." Gaara, of course, obeyed immediatly, running around and screaming like a little girl. Tenten followed with amazing speed, screeching, "YOU'RE GONNA DIE, SAND-BOY, YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"

"This is worse than an S-ranked mission!" cried the poor, poor boy, running as fast as his legs would carry him.

"Where have I seen this before?" murmured Ino.

All of a sudden, Yoh and Anna from Shaman King came from behind a corner. "Anna, I told you, I'm sick, so I can't run arou-" Yoh stopped suddenly as he noticed the newcomers.

"What the HELL are you people doing in my mountain house!" screamed Anna.

Uh-oh.

Things do not look good for our favorite band of campers.

_TBC..._

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, no! What will happen to the campers now? Knowing Anna, it can't be good. I myself have no idea what's going on, so I am welcoming any requests/ideas for the story. Also, if you go to and on search, type in _How to Drive, _it gives you this really funny video! Watch it and tell me if you think it's funny or not. I just thought it'd be a good little bit of added humor to your lives.

CRUD! Tomorrow's yet another day of testing. If you live in Pennsylvania and are in 5th through 11th grade, you know what I'm talking about. I hate testing. Anyway, I have no idea when I'll have some new ideas for this stor, so I'll start typing up the next chapter as soon as I get... 75 reviews. Sound fair? Okay, good.

Remember to review, if you want another chapter!

-Natsyourlord


	9. We Could be Here for a While

Well, as promised, here's chapter nine. I seriously can't believe how fast this story is getting reviews. This morning when I logged in I had and now I've got 86! AMAZING! I love all you guys... hugs And last night I got some really cool news! I'm going to my second cousin Lauren's Sweet 16 Birthday Bash! It's a little weird, seeing as I'm only eleven, but I think I proved myself mature when I was hanging out with my older brother, our cousin Erik, and Lauren's sister Hillary on our families' annual Christmas Eve party, when I listened to 6 Greenday songs, unedited, on Hillary's iPod. I'm so happy!

I've said too much already... At this rate, I won't have anything to say at the bottom!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"What the HELL are you people doing in my moutain house!" screamed Anna.

Uh-oh.

Things do not look good for our favorite band of campers.

Everybody cowered in fear of Anna's death glare, while in the background Gaara was still screaming and running around, and Tenten was chasing him (someone asked why Gaara was screaming like a little girl, coz it's so unGaara-ish. It's just to add to the humor).

"Um... why is that guy with the stupid kanji (sp?) runnning away from the girl with the dumb-looking buns on her head?" asked Yoh. He, being ill with the flu, didn't notice that both of them had a firey aura to them. Gaara and Tenten stopped running and slowly turned their heads to look at Yoh.

"You think we look stupid?" they asked simutaneously. Yoh shrank back in fear. Flames erupted in both Tenten's and Gaara's eyes, and Tenten handed Gaara the pan she was holding.

Five seconds later, Yoh was running around screaming, Amidamaru hot on his heels, and Gaara and Tenten were going spastic trying to attack Yoh. Anna buried her face in her hands, muttering something about how "Her fiance is and idiot" and then got knocked over as Neji, Sasuke, and Lee finally decided to stop the madness.

_tbc..._

No, just kidding.

Sasuke grabbed Tenten by the collar, Neji grabbed Gaara, and Lee got Yoh. Amidamaru, being a spirit, couldn't be grabbed.

"Look, people," said Anna, getting up. "We're leaving here now, anyway, because Yoh is sick. He WOULDN'T be if he'd remembered to close the FRIDGE while watching SPONGEBOB, but what's done is done. You guys can borrow the house so long as you don't trash it and pay a rent."

"How much is the rent?" asked Sasuke. "We'll only be staying here for a few days."

"2,000 yen a day"

"DID SHE SAY 20,000 YEN?"

"No, she didn't, Tenten. Calm down."

"Oh, ok. We'll pay the rent."

"Alright. Well, we've gotta go. Manta and Ren should be here any second." Almost as if on cue, a black SUV drove up to the front of the house and Manta got out of the passenger seat, then walked inside. As soon as he saw the group of ninja inside the house, his eyeballs popped out of his head.

"WHO THE HECK ARE YOU PEOPLE?"

"Calm down, Manta, they'll be renting the house." said Yoh, and he, Anna, and Amidamaru grabbed their luggage and left. Tenten slowly picked up the pan that Gaara had dropped, and went into the kitchen to put them away.

"Well, looks like this house is ours for the next few days. For room arrangements, let's just do tent arrangements." said Sakura.

"B-but, Sakura, N-Naruto is gone, and a-anyway, there's only th-three b-bedrooms." whispered Hinata.

"Well, then, you, Gaara, Temari, Lee, and Kiba will all have to sleep on the couches in the den or on the floor." Sakura replied. "Ino and Shikamaru'll share a room, same with Sasuke and I, and Tenten and Neji. It's easier to remember because those were the tent arrangements."

"Somebody kill me." muttered Sasuke.

"Right there with you." said Neji.

"Okay, come on, we've gotta get settled in." yelled Sakura. "Gaara, Kakashi still has your PSP, so you'll have to use this Nintendo DS instead." She tossed Gaara the litle silver machine, and pretty soon the whole house was a flurry of activity. Hinata was cooking dinner, Ino and Sakura were putting away the bits of stuff they'd recovered from the now-soakin-wet campsite, Temari, Kiba, Neji, and Shikamaru were watching a rerun of Drake and Josh, and Gaara was playing NintenDogs while Tenten coached him along over his shoulder.

_"Just remrember. I'm younger than you. So someday, you'll be old and weak. That's when you'll need me. But I'll be far away, in Paris, laughing it up while you two lie there, and choke on your own saliva." _said Megan on the screen. Kiba, Temari, and Shikamaru cracked up, and even Neji showed a hint of a smile.

"How funny is Drake and Josh?" said Temari.

"The funniest!" called Sakura from one of the bedrooms.

"Yeah. Now be quiet, I'm trying to teach my NintenDog a new trick." said Gaaraa distractedly, staring at the screen with utmost attention. "If I can teach him to roll over, Tenten will let me play _Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow_!"

"D-Dinner is ready!" called Hinata from the kitchen. Everybody hurried to get inside, and smelled the great scent of chicken and rice in soy sauce (like, my favorite meal EVER). They all scarfed down the food, seeing as their last meal was breakfast yesterday.

"Oh, boy!" yelped Kiba, burying his face in his plate. When he looked up again, Everyone else was staring at him. "...What?"

"Um, nothing." said Sakura shakily. Then she picked up her chopsticks and ate the remaining food in her bowl. Eventually, Temari was the only one left with a full bowl.

"D-Do you not like my cooking?" asked a shamefaced Hinata. Temari looked up guiltily.

"No, no, it's good, really! It's just-"

"She's allergic to chicken." finished Gaara, smirking. "Some sort of weird genetic. Kankuro and I don't have it, but she does!" The red haired sand-nin did little dance before flipping open the Nintendo DS screen and screaming, "C'MON YOU DAMN DOG, ROLL OVER!"

"All, right! _All That _is on!" exclaimed Lee, jumping onto the couch. A "Know Your Stars" came on.

"Does this look familiar to anyone?" asked Sasuke, staring at the screen, where Ryan Coleman was trying to get a Know Your Stars while the voice-man ordered Chinese food.

"Yeah, it does. I wonder if Kakashi got the idea to do Know Your Shinobi from this." said Lee. Everyone stared at him.

"No effing DUH!" screamed Ino. She glared at Lee for a second, then made a seal and muttered something under her breath. Her body slumped over, and Lee walked into the bathroom. Everyone could see through the open door that Lee was sticking his head into the toilet, and pushing down on the flusher. Then Ino's body jolted back up again, and Lee scrabbled around in the bathroom as he tried to get his head unstuck.

"The deed is done." said Ino. Everyone just gaped at her except for Lee, who was trying to get his head unstuck, anfd Gaara, who was giggling - yes, GIGGLING - over the Nintendo DS.

_If I'm still sane by the end of this camping trip, it'l be a miracle. _thought Sasuke. _Sharing a room - and most likely a bed - with SAKURA? Ino taking over Lee's body and flushing him? Gaara giggling? Yeah, I'll go insane._

Finally, _All That _was over, and everybody groggily went off to their rooms.

_**Sakura's and Sasuke's Room:**_

Sasuke went into the bathroom and changed into his night clothes. Then he stepped out to see... Sakura without a shirt.

_Oh... oh, god..._

"Sasuke! What are you DOING! I'm not dressed yet! cried Sakura, quickly pulling on her top. Then she climbed into the bed and pulled out a book, _Eldest. _(You've gotta read that book. It's really good!) Sasuke just stood there for a few seconds, still in shock, before walking over to the other side of the bed and crawling in.

_At least she wears a bra when she sleeps... otherwise that could've been trouble..._

_**Ino's and Shikamaru's Room:**_

Ino, after staggering into the room, collapsed onto the bed without even taking off her shoes. Lucky for her and Shika, they had two separate beds. Shikamaru stared at Ino for a second before going into the restroom across the hall, changing, and coming out again. Ino had bunched up into a ball, and when Shikamaru came back in he noticed it.

_What the heck..._

Then he noticed that she wasn't under the blanket, and of course, if you're on a mountain, it's bound to be cold. Shikamaru pulled it gently over her before noticing that one of Ino's eyes was open a crack and watching him carefully. Suddenly she whipped out a pillow and whacked it at him.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Just some fun."

"Troublesome..."

_**Tenten's and Neji's Room:**_

"Tenten?"

"Tenten."

"Tenten!"

"Wha? Whuzzit? I trynda slee'ere."

"Can you stop hugging my arm?"

"Thizzur arm?"

"Yes, that's my arm."

"Oh... s'rry, Neji..."

_TBC..._

Too short? Well, sorry, but I always make sure my chapters have at least 1,000 words, and this has 1,686.It keeps balance, or at least that's the way I see it. I'm experiencing some writer's block here, people, so... you guessed it! FEEDBACK TIME! If anyone wants to send me ideas, I'll let you know you get chapter dedication! Also, if you've tried to send me ideas before by e-mail, the last time I checked it was three months ago. So I seriously advise to send ideas by review!

I LOVE REVIEWS!

-Natsyourlord

PS: What's Inuyasha? I would try to watch it but the only place I know where to watch it is Cartoon Network on Tuesdays at 12:30 am, and I'm not allowed to stay up that late! Does anyone know another place where I can see it? Thanks!


	10. Revenge Seeking Senseis Seek Revenge!

Alright! As promised, if you sent ideas I give special thanks to **InsaneScriptist **and **nightmare car**, and also I thank the person who told me what Inuyasha is,** Ankino blossoms, **and encourage you all to send more ideas. WOO-HOO!

Now I only used **InsaneSciptist**'s ideas in this chapter, so I dedicate it to him/her, but I will see if I can use **nightmar car**'s ideas in another one. Remember that if you send ideas, you get special dedication!

I still don't know when I can watch Inuyasha, though... how sad...

**ON WITH THE STORY...**

Sakura woke up, feeling surprisingly warm and tight. _That's odd. _she thought. _I mean, this doesn't feel like a blanket, or a pillow, or a matress. It feels so safe and warm and... it's moving... _She opened her eyes and found herself looking at Sasuke's shirt. Her eyes wandered upwards and she saw he was still asleep, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

_Uh-oh._

"Sasuke, wake up. C'mon, you're holding me too tight. I can't breathe."

Sasuke shifted a little, and screwed up his face in discomfort. Dang pillow. It wouldn't shut up. He was very tired, seeing as last night's... surprise kept him up long past midnight.

"Dampi'ow. Shup. Wagobsleep, nogeddup." Sauke mumbled beforewrapping his arms tighter around Sakura, who frowned in worry.

Ssauke was going to hate her when he woke up.

Meanwhile, Ino, Shikamaru, and Lee were having a debate over who was going to go get firewood.

"Well, _I _can't go. I'm making breakfast." said Ino. "One of you's gotta do it, coz I'm not."

"Uh... I gotta, uh, help Ino. Lee, I bet Gai would think that you were doing a good thing, helping everyone by going outside in that snow and getting us firewood."

Of course, Lee got up and ran outside right away. Tenten came out from her room and looked at Shikamaru groggily. "Did you just say it's snowing? In July?"

"Don't blame me, blame the author." muttered Shikamaru, slinking into the kitchen after Ino. Tenten just threw her hands up and groaned. "How _else _is she going to torture us?"

As if to punctuate that statement, Lee suddenly started screaming from outside. Tenten pulled on her shoes quickly and ran outside to see Lee getting attacked by a raccoon.

"GETITOFFGETITGOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!" screamed Lee, running around in circles as the raccoon continued to assault him.

"Lee! Hang on!" Tenten whipped out a shuriken and knocked the raccoon off Lee, then helped him gather the wood he'd dropped as the small creature scurried away.

When they finally got back to the cabin, everyone had sat down to eat already except Sasuke and Sakura, for the reason we all know. Nobody really seemed to notice Lee had been attacked until Kiba looked at him, about to ask him to pass the butter.

"Lee, dude! What happened to your face?" At this, everyone at the table turned to look at Lee. In turn, their jaws all fell off their faces and onto the floor.

"He got mauled by a raccoon. Hey, Ino, could you pass the syrup?" said Tenten.

Suddenly a yell of shock was heard from Sasuke's and Sakura's room, followed by a "YOU PERVERTED WOMAN!"

"Ho, boy." muttered Neji.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sasuke had woken up feling quite happy and content, seeing as he was holding something soft and warm. Then he heard it murmur, "Sasuke, c'mon. Pleeeeeease get up." When Sasuke opened his eyes, he saw that he was very close to someone... Too close...

"GYAH! YOU PERVERTED WOMAN!" he yelled as he threw the blankets off and unwrapped his arms from around Sakura. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?"

"Sasuke, I didn't do anything. Just liste-"

"NO! YOU SICK! WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO - TO _SNUGGLE _WITH ME IN YOUR SLEEP?" Sauke shoved her away from him so fast that she fell off the side of the bed. "OW!"

"Oh, my god..." Sasuke crawled over to see Sakura in obvious pain. "Are... Are you alright?"

Sakura sat up gingerly and rubbed her head where she'd hit it. "Yes Sasuke. I just spent the last hour held against my will in bed by my ex-crush and teammate because he thought I was a _pillow,_ and then he woke up and shoved me out of the bed, and I slammed my head against the wall and think I'm bleeding a little, but I'm just fine. No, whaddya think?"

"Oops. Sorry."

"It's okay. Just help me out a little by getting some ice, okay?"

"Okay." Sasuke ran out into the kitchen, where everyone started asking questions at once.

"What happened?"

"Did Sakura actually snuggle with you?"

"Is she alright?

"Are _you _alright?"

"It was a misunderstanding." muttered Sasuke, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer before going back to his room he shared with Sakura.

"Thanks," she said, taking the ice pack and then sitting on the bed beside Sasuke. "What were you dreaming about that made you hug me so tightly, anyway?"

Sasuke thought back to his dream. It had seemed very vague.

_Drinking punch at a party they were holding for some unknown reason. The punch tasted a little strange. Sasuke begn to feel... odd. Then he noticed that Sakura looked quite pretty... before he knew it, they and everybody else was drunk and making out..._

"Uh... I'd rather not say."

"Well, if you're sure. Now, I'm hungry. See you, Sasuke." Sakura hopped off the bed, still holding the ice pack, and skipped ino the kitchen.

Sasuke slid off the bed and went out the door, to find In standing right outside it. "Sasuke, since it's snowing so hard, we might be able to go sledding. And you're gonna starve, unless you eat something."

"Uh... Ino? The snow has stopped. We can't go sledding."

Ino glanced out the window. Now it was raining again. "Oh, poopie. TENTEN! Check the weather!"

From the den there was the sound of a TV being turned on, followed by a "NOOO! MORE RAIN! ALL WEEK!"

"Oh. Guess that answers my question. Sasuke-kun, if you want some food, there's a few bagels, about 2 pancakes, and at least 1 cereal box left out. We know you eat a lot." Ino walked into the den, followed by an "Oh, my GOD! WE HAVE A 2319! TENTEN HAS A 2319 AGAIN!" Everyone sprinted into the den except for Sasuke, who decided he was too hungry to give Tenten CPR. So he walked into the kitchen.

And saw Sakura choking on some bacon.

"Uh - Oh, man, I know what to do!" Sasuke dashed over, screaming, "THE HEIMLECH! THE HEIMLECH!" and he wrapped his arms around her and gav three thrusts. Out came the bacon and Sakura collapsed on the floor.

To a certain Inuzuka walking by, it looked like something else.

_Sasuke... and Sakura... NO WAY! I'd better keep this to myself. _Kiba hurried off, and Sasuke helped Sakura up.

"You okay?"

"I'm..._cough... _I'm fine."

"Alright, good." Sasuke looked at all the leftover food on the table, then turned to the girl beside him. "They don't clean up very well, do they?"

"No, not really."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Meanwhile, at a treehouse not very far from the cabin, four senseis and a blonde boy were plotting revenge.

"This is going to pay that little Hinata brat back for screwing up my machine and making me get squashed!" exclaimed one with silver hair. The man next to him held up a hand.

"Patience, Kakashi." He took a long drag on his cigarette. "We need todo this through stealth. And stealth means CODENAMES!"

"Aw, RIGHT! I'm gonna be called BestHokage!" cried the boy.

"Shut up, Naruto. You don't need a codename. You're the most important part of the operation, remember?"

The boy scratched his head. "I am?"

"Yes!" cried a man with giant eyebrows and a Moe Howard hairdo. "Although I wish it were my Lee that was the main part of the plan! Lee would do it perfectly!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." muttered a black-haired woman. "I just hope that you dont mess it up, Naruto."

"I won't, I won't!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiight..."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

In the cabin, things were all the same as yesterday, except that Hinata wasn't cooking. She had taken out her own NintenDogs and was having them interact with Gaara's. Also, instead of Drake and Josh, Dodgeball was on TV.

"Gaara, make your NintenDog stop mauling Hinata's!" exclaimed Tenten, once again coaching over Gaara's shoulder. "That's mean!"

"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Destroy! Destroy!" cried Gaara, who was making his NintenDog attack Hinata's with utmost viciousness.

"Castlevania..."

"Oh, FINE!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" muttered Temari, getting up to open the door. She swung it open and stared.

"Naruto?"

"Oh, yeah, it's me!" cried Naruto, stepping into the house. "Uzumaki Naruto, at your service."

"How did you know we were here?" Temari asked.

"Oh, it was easy. Some really nice people down at the hospital told me. They said my headband reminded them of some people they had staying at their house in the woods, so... Hey, are you guys playing NintenDogs?" He rushed over and immediatly began giving Hinata battle tactics so that she could try and defeat Gaara's NintenDog.

"Oooookay..." Temari walked back over to the couch. "Looks like Naruto will be staying here, too.

"Looks like trouble." Sasuke remembered something about his dream that had to do with Naruto, but he couldn't remember.

Whatever it was, though, it was bad.

_TBC..._

Oooh... A CLIFFHANGER! OH, BOY! Also, did the nice people notice how much faster I got this chapter up? It's because I got ideas! HURRAY! Ok, remember, if you want to send me ideas, do it in a review, coz I almost _never _check my e-mail. Also, I love you if you review! In fact, next chapter I'll be posting the names of all the best reviewers! So REVIEW, like NOW!

-Natsyourlord


	11. The Closet of DOOM

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH! 108 reviews! I've passed 100! GO ME! I seriously can't belive all the wonderful ideas I've gotten from the reviews! Seriously! In fact, I've got so many I don't need any more ideas for a while. My brother gave me an idea at breakfast, and it goes with one of our band songs coughpenguinscough and I'm gonna use it.

As promised, the best reviewers are:**Akino blossoms, DosuTheSoundDrill, HeartAngel, serenitatis417, Princess Fluffy3.**

If you wanna get on the list, well then, heck, START REVIEWING!

**On with the story...**

Ok. When we last left off, our happy ninja clan was up in Yoh and Anna's mountain house, trying to arrange a party in celebration of Naruto's return. Ordinarily they wouldn't have bothered, but when Sasuke tried to object, Hinata's eyes turned very evil and in a whisper, she told Sasuke that Naruto deserved a party, and if he tried to object he could very quickly find himself dead.

Hence, the inner Hinata.

"Alright. Since it's my party, I insist we have RAMEN EVERYWHERE!" cried Naruto. Sakura glared at him. He shut up.

"How about some punch, a bowls of chips, pretzels, and cheese balls, and little weenie dogs? And for music, we could play some Toshiro Masuda soundtrack?" asked Tenten. (For those of you who don't know, Toshiro Masuda is the group that writes and plays all the Naruto songs. They're really famous in Japan.)

"Sounds good! And as for games..." started Ino...

"SPIN THE BOTTLE, TRUTH-OR-DARE, CROSSOVER!" all the girls screamed. The guys put their hands over their ears.

"What the hell is that?" asked Neji.

"Exactly what it sounds like. The 'dare' is going nto a closet and making out with a person that the asker gets to pick." replied Tenten curtly.

"Oh, crud..." said all the boys except Gaara.

"Hey, where's Gaa-" began Temari, but was interrupted with "SIT! STAY! ROLL OVER! DO ANYTHING!" Everyone turned their attention to the corner of the room, where Gaara was sitting, eagerly playing the Nintendo DS. "DAMMIT!" He stood up and threw the DS across the room.

And then he blinked.

"OH, NO! PETEY!" he cried, dashing over to the machine, tenderly picking it up and turning it over. "It's okay, Daddy's here."

Everyone stared. Then - CLANG - their jaws hit the floor.

"What? That's his name." said Gaara, who then returned to his game, giggling all the while.

"Ooooookay..."

After they had finished brainstorming, the group set out in search of any of the things they needed for Naruto's party. But Tenten, in matchmaker mode, only had eyes for her favorite couple.

Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura.

At the moment, they were looking inside the closet off by the bedrooms, where they hoped to find some sort of decoration.

"Hey, Sasuke, can you help me look for some streamers?" called Sakura from inside.

"What? Oh, sure."

_Perfect. _Tenten positioned herself outside the door, waiting for Sasuke to go in just a little bit... There!

She slammed the door and locked it. From inside she heard Sasuke's voice. "What the-" The doorknob jiggled. "Oh, _shit."_

"What is it?" Sakura's voice.

"The door's locked."

"Oh, man. Somebody's probably shoved us in here and is going around telling everybody not to open the door. Don't waste your breath yelling. Someone's bound to figure out we're gone eventually."

Tenten just grinned like a maniac and walked away.

**Inside the Closet...**

"Oh... now what do we do? Someone is playing matchmaker, but I don't know who, I'm stuck in a closet with Sasuke, and we're having a 'Welcome Back, Naruto' party in three hours! Could this get any worse?" Sakura muttered as she stood against the door.

Depends on what you mean by worse.

Sasuke walked over to a shelf, trying to see if he could find a flashlight (the closet doesn't have a light). On his way over, he slipped on a broom and fell...

right...

into...

Sakura.

Both of them felt their lips touch something soft, and screamed inside their heads, _Oh, SNAP! _Sakura, unprepared for Sasuke's fall, fell onto the ground and right on top of Sasuke, where something heavy fell on top of them, thus locking them in their curent position. Through it all, they somehow still had their lips in contact. Sakura finally got over the shock and pulled her mouth away, though there was nothing she could do about the object lying across her back.

"You have some explaining to do, Uchiha."

"Uh... I fell."

"You fell."

"... Yes."

"And your lips making contact with mine and your hands dangerously close to my butt is just a coincidence."

"... Crazy as it may seem... yes."

"Well, I can't punch you, seeing as we're stuck on the floor and it won't do much to you, and if I bite you, you might bleed on me. So I guess the only punishment I can give you for _abusing _me when we're locked in a closet is the silent treatment.

"Sounds fair." Sasuke lifted his head and pecked her on the cheek.

"HEY!"

Sasuke smirked. "That silent treatment didn't last very long."

"Oh, shut up."

"Why? We're locked inside a closet, no one can see us, you've had a crush on me since you were eleven..."

"Sasuke! I'm way over that! You're just a friend!"

"You sure? Coz you used to have the hots for me..."

"SHADDAP!"

_Urgh..._

An hour passed and finally they fell asleep, Sakura first, then Sasuke shortly after.

Meanwhile, outside in the rest of the house, Neji was looking for some balloons. Naruto had sent him to find some, though he hadn't the slightest idea how he was going to find balloons in a mountain house.

"Screw it..."

He activated the Byakugan, deciding that he might as well see the whole house at once and get done with it. What he saw, though, was unexpected.

Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura were lying on the floor in a closet, asleep. Sakura's head was resting on Sasuke's chest, and Sasuke had both arms around her. There was a hollow iron bar, about 10 inches in diameter, lying across Sakura's back and locking them in that position. Neji was about to go to the closet and get them out when he noticed the door was locked from the outside. He stuck his hands in his pockets, deactivated the byakugan, and stalked away grinning.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Did Naruto get inside?" asked a man with a Moe Howard hairdo inside of the Ultra Secret Revenge-Seeking Senseis' Headquarters.

"Yes, of course. And they trust him completely. Why wouldn't they?" asked a man with a cigarrette.

"I dunno. He might've let something slip. We're talking Naruto here, not James Bond." muttered a woman with red eyes and long black hair.

"Well," said a man with silver hair and a mask, "Looks like Point A of our plan, the party, is in a few hours, so at least he didn't screw that up."

"Yeah. Now all that we need to do is hope he didn't smash any of those sake bottles while giving Hinata battle tactics to defeat Gaara's NintenDog. He was dancing around like a fool."

"Is _that _Maito Gai's favorite part of our plan for revenge? The sake-in-the-punch?" smirked the silver-haired man.

"No! My favorite part is the Portly Penguin Parade! Yosh!"

"No way. That's MY favorite part! Choose your own!"

"Okay, my favorite part is when we're going to reveal ourselves to the students! I will be able to talk to Lee again! Yosh!"

"That _is _the Portly Penguin Parade!"

"It's still my favorite part! Yosh!"

"STOP ENDING EVERY SENTENCE WITH 'YOSH'! IT'S ANNOYING!"

"Okay! Yosh!"

"Gyargh!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Finally, Ino went into the closet trying to find a broom, and was instead greeted by the sight of Sakura and Sasuke asleep, only now Sakura was cuddling into Sasuke's chest. The bar was still on top of them, though.

_Hmm... _thought Ino. _The _right _thing to do would be to wake them up and help Sakura get that bar off her back. But the _smart _thing to do would be... to take digital pictures and sell them on Konoha eBay! _Ino whipped out a digital camera and began taking pictures. After getting about twenty, she slammed the door and sprinted away, howling with laughter.

"I got the pictures! I got the pictures! I got the pictures!" she shrieked, running into her own room and slamming the door. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ino... what are you doing?" asked Shikamaru, who was sitting on his bed, blowing up balloons. "Did you sneak into the bathroom and take pictures of Neji's butt?"

"No! Look!" She showed him the pictures on the camera. Shika's expression went from bored to amused, then _highly _amused. "Wow. Where'd you get these?"

"They're in that storage closet down the hall. We should probably wake 'em up now, don'cha think? But don't tell them about the pictures. I need to sell them to Konoha's newspaper and get rich, _rich, RICH!"_ Ino went over to her nightstand and thrust the camera deep inside. "Can't have anyone finding it."

"Right... c'mon, let's go wake them up." They walked down the hall and over to the closet. Ino swung the door open to see Sasuke and Sakura still on the floor, but now they were awake.

"THANK YOU!" cried Sakura. "I've been waiting for someone to realize we've been gone for hours!"

Ino and Shikamaru looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

Finally it was party time. The decorations were put up, there was a big banner that read "Welcome Back, Naruto!" and food was set out.

"Okay, let's party it up!" cried Naruto. Tenten flipped a switch and turned on _Haruka Kanata._

_Humi koru sama seru. Keti kiro simi wa sonaio! Neru nudu kero!_

_Neji koku sosai ari! Niko sia niko wa sorayo! Neki no sureyooooooo..._

_BUM BUM BUM Kokoro no goto!_

_BUM BUM BUM Kiari ne geto!_

_BUM BUM BUM Nisi arei reyaaaa!_

Eveyone started dancing and singing along with the music. Everyone, that is, except Naruto. He went over to the food table and poured three bottles of extremely strong sake into the punch, then mixed it up so that no one would notice. Then he went over to Hinata and offered her some punch. HInata gladly took it and drank it.

_TBC..._

I know, I know. You all want me to continue. Guess what? I'm deciding to leave a biiiig cliffie right there. Serves you right if you didn't review! (If you did review, sorry, this just seemed like a good way to get more people to read! Also! The deadline for the next chapter is Saturday. If I get ten new reviews,(at least) I will set it up for Friday! Sorry if it's a two day wait, but I have homework, homework, homework! GRR! Dang you, state standards! Anyway, next chapter: Drunk ninja, Gleeful senseis, and Portly Penguin Parade! Bet you can't wait; I know I can't!

-Overly Hyperactive Natsyourlord


	12. Kings, Penguins and Screams! Oh, my!

Okay, peeps, listen up. When I started typing this I was _not _in a good mood. So if I get any flames for this chapter I will track down the flamer and wring their neck, get it got it good. NO, I will not say why I am angry. Too bad if you wanted to know, but the only reason I'm typing this is because I got over 10 new reviews. That's sort of good, I guess...I am TICKED, people. So this chapter may not be as funny as the others. Good-bye.

**On with the story...**

Hinata gulped down the punch, barely tasting it. She was too concerned with the fact that _Naruto _had given it to her - _her _Naruto - and so she asked for another. Naruto gladly obliged.

Meanwhile, Sasuke had taken some of the punch. After drinking five cups, he suddenly realized that this was the same scene from his dream! The strange punch, the way the light hit Sakura, making her seem so damn pretty... uh-oh.

Before long, Sakura had taken a lot of punch, too. It was strangely addicting, and Sasuke realized it was probably spiked. Unfortunatly, he couldn't stop himself from getting drunk. Pretty soon the scene from his dream had come true...

Except for Naruto, who was completely drug-free. He skipped around the making out couples, and no one really noticed him, not even when he had to push Ino and Shikamaru away from his door to get in. Naruto grabbed a cell phone and called Kakashi.

"Kakashi sensei? It's Naruto. The plan worked."

"_Really? That's great, Naruto. Kurenai thought you were gonna mess it up. We'll be right over."_

"Hurry. The stuff's strong, but I'm not sure how long it'll be before they fall asleep. HURRY!"

_"Right. I'm coming right now."_

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Urgh..." _Where am I? _The first thing Sasuke noticed when he woke up was that he was cold. Very cold. And then the flood of memories came back to him.

He'd kissed her. A lot. A lot a lot. And it was the punch. It was spiked.

_Oh, shit... If I remembered it, so did she..._

Sure enough, a groan from beside him alerted Sasuke that Sakura was just waking up. He rolled over and opened his eyes.

But what he saw was totally unexpected.

He, Sakura, and everyone else was laying side-by-side under a big yak's blanket. Even though it was huge, the air was still freezing. And now Sasuke could see why.

"Oh, my god..."

_Antartica. _That was where they were. Ice and snow was underfoot, and in the distance Sasuke could see mountains of ice. About fifty yards from where he lay, there was a huge ice castle with penguins guarding it.

_Now I'm sure I'm losing my mind._

"Sasuke... what - Oh, my god..." Sakura looked around in shock.

"Yeah. We're in Antartica." Sasuke stood up and helped Sakura up next to him. They stared at the giant castle of ice until one of the guards noticed them.

"Milord! The prisoners are awake!" Almost immediatly after that, the gate to the ice palace opened, and about twenty more penguin guards came out before a huge Emperor Penguin came out in a red robe and golden crown.

"All hail King Hans!" exclaimed a penguin.

"ALL HAIL KING HANS!" yelled the guards. The Emperor Penguin walked over to Sasuke and Sakura and shook their hands. "Hello, and welcome to Antartica. I am King Hans."

"HAIL HANS!" cried the pengiuns.

"Will you please come into my castle? Your friends can come, too, when they wake up."

"HAIL HANS!" cried the penguins.

"Uh, okay." said Sasuke. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke, and this is Haruno Sakura."

"Oh, we know who you are." said Hans.

"HAIL HANS!" cried the penguins.

"WILL YOU STOP THAT!" yelled Hans. He led Sakura and Sasuke into the castle, where they were followed by all the guards, except for the ones that were out there in the first place. They went down many freezing cold ice-hallways, until they reached a door marked "Throne room." Upon stepping inside, they were immediatly greeted by a fanfare that could blast holes in their ears, followed by a "HAIL HANS!" Hans just groaned, and marched up to his throne.

"Welcome to my Throne Room. This is my lovely wife, Gracie."

"HAIL HANS!"

Gracie waved.

Sasuke twitched. _Something tells me there's more to this than meets the eye..._

Suddenly, there was a call from outside. "Milord! More prisoners are awake!"

"Duty calls!" said Hans, jumping up and dashing out the door again.

"HAIL HANS!" the buglists cried after Hans had left.

"a-HEM!"

"HAIL GRACIE!"

"Good."

This process continued, with more people entering the room slowly. First Tenten and Neji, then Gaara, Temari, and Lee, then Hinata, and finally Kiba, Ino, and Shikamaru.

"Okay!" said Hans, yet again jumping onto his throne. "Now that you're all awake, I guess you should see who brought you here, hm?" The doors to the Throne Room opened, and in stepped - who else? - Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Gai, and... Naruto.

"I _knew_ it!" muttered Sasuke under his breath. "I _knew _Naruto had something to do with it!"

"Hello, children." said Kakashi. "We-" but he was cut off by Gai and Lee.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

Lee and Gai hugged, as in the background there was a sunset-ocean-scene. Everyone's jaws dropped to the floor and skittered across the ice away from them.

"Do they always do that?" asked Hans in a whisper.

"You better believe it." replied Gaara. "I've known them for three years and I can never get used to it."

Hans watched in amazement as music started to play in the background. "Wow... that's creepy..."

Finally they stopped hugging, and everyone sighed in reief and went to go pick up their jaws. Hans' royal staff stomped on the floor, signaling his need for attention.

"HAIL HANS!"

"Urgh... Okay. Now that you've seen who sent you here, I would like to point out that wonderful trapdoor you're all standing on!" At that moment, the trapdoor opened up from below them, and they fell into a dark, slippery luge-slide. "See you outside!" called Hans as they hurtled down the slide. Finally, they emerged from the other side to see Hans and all the senseis standing out ther, waiting for them.

"Now, be forced to watch... THE PORTLY PENGUIN PARADE!" screamed Hans with glee. Instantly, a horde of fat penguins marched out of the castle and began to march to the beat of _Portly Penguin Parade _(our band song!), played by a penguin band.

"This is insane!" yelled Ino. Then a _really_ freaky thing happened. Hans started narrating _March of the Penguins _(which I don't own)!

"Antartica. A strange, cold, desolate, _beautiful _world. Full of mystery and excitement." said Hans.

Ino screamed. "STOP THIS MADNESS!"

"NO! HAIL HANS!" yelped al the penguins in the parade, before continuing their insane march of doom.

"...But one tribe stayed behind." continued Hans, now imitating Morgan Freeman's voice. "One tribe... unlike any other..." At that second, a bunch of words appeared over Hans' head. They read _March of the Penguins._

"So I really _am _going insane!" yelled Sasuke. "I knew I was losing my sanity!"

"The Emperor Penguin. A race of penguin unlike any other."

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAH!" all the Chunin screeched together before passing out on the ice.

_TBC..._

I found a remedy for my anger: writing. So I typed and I typed and I typed, even though it's a school night, and I got this chapter done in two hours. I'm very proud of myself, and even thought of a way around my predicament. It's called INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I didn't actually laugh. I'm still upset. In the next chapter I'll tell you if things work out or not. But flames are still unaccepted.

Also, in your review, put INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY so that I know you read this little author's note.

-Natsyourlord


	13. The TV Guy Showdown

Ok, listen up. I have some good news and bad news. The _good _news is that I'm not angry anymore! The _bad _news is that someone doesn't seem to understand why Naruto is working with Kakashi! Well, it's because Naruto got squished, and - you remember how Naruto was stalking Kurenai for ramen and turned his name backwards as a code name? Well, Kurenai promised to give him the ramen if he worked with them. Hope that answers any questions.

I am a deranged monkey. Not. My friend Joey is. Today at the stupid _Fairness _assembly, we were forced to play in the band on our instruments, and he knocked over his trombone as we were doing the chicken dance along with the whole school, and I was laughing so hard I knocked my own trombone. AND it was in front of literally the WHOLE SCHOOL! I'm going to wring Joey's neck on Monday...

**On with the story...**

When Shikamaru woke up, the first thing he noticed ws that he wasn't cold anymore. _Hmm. I'm not in Antartica anymore. That's good, but... _He opened his eyes and...

POW! A pie slammed into Shikamaru's face and exploded on contact. He shook it out of his hair. "What the-"

A boy was standing there, pointing and laughing like a lunatic. "Okay, let's try the cream puff!" The boy pulled a creampuff from his pocket and threw it at Shikamaru like a grenade. It blew up and Shikamaru fell over, yet again unconscious.

Ino awoke after hearing the boom from the explosion. She opened her eyes and saw the strange boy laughing evilly. "Is anyone else awake?"

"Uh, yeah, I am, and-" she never finished her sentence. A large pie had embedded itself in her face. "HEY!"

"BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" screamed the kid. "I AM THE PIE-THROWER! BUT YOU CAN CALL ME P.T.! I AM THE NUMBER ONE PIE-THROWER!"

"Not so fast!" came a strangely familiar voice. One of the pastry-throwing-range's walls exploded, and there was... Oh, no! - The most annoying of all the Nickelodeon cartoon characters and Disney channel characters stood there!

"We need them to come to _our _secret hideout so that we can do horrible things to them!" cried Sheen, from Jimmy Neutron.

"Yeah!" said Megan from Drake and Josh. "I spent 300 dollars on that FBI equipment! I've been using it on Drake and Josh, but now I want to do it to someone else. Because I want to hear a new scream!" she began laughing manaiacally. Pretty soon everyone you've ever seen on TV or in an anime wanted to take the unfortunate shinobi to their own secret hideout and play evil pranks on them. So pretty soon the second Ultimate Showdown came on!

**Warning: This is probably the most gruesome and inappropriate part of this entire fanfic. I got it from albinoblacksheep. So if you're under the age of 13, I suggest you don't read this next part. Instead, go to the part where there are no italics.**

_Ol' Dracula was hoppin' around the Pie-testing Range like a big playground,_

_When suddenly Gandalf burst from the shade, and hit Dracula with a wizard grenade._

_Dracula got pissed and began to attack, but didn't expect to be attacked by Shaq._

_Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq fu when Ms. Tsunade came out of the blue._

_Who started to beat up Shaqqelle O' Neil, then they both got flattened by the Batmobile._

_But before they could make it back to the Batcave, The 4th Hokage popped out of his grave._

_Pulled a AK-47 from under his toad and blew Gandalf away when he saw the gun explode._

_But he ran outta guns and he ran away, because Jimmy Neutron came to save the day._

_This is the TV Guy showdooooown! Of the TV guy destiny._

_Good guys, bad guys and Ninjutsuuuuu! As far as the eye can see._

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be. This is the TV guy showdooooown!_

_Of the TV Guy destiny._

_Dracula took a bite outta Jimmy Neutron, like Scrooge took a bite outta Christmas on_

_The day Shaq came back covered in a tire track, then Boots the Chimp jumped out an' landed on his back._

_And Gandalf was injured and tryn' to get steady when the 4th Hokage came back with a machete._

_But then somethin' caught 'is leg and the 4th Hokage tripped, it was Cowboy Woody; took 'em out with his whip._

_Then he saw Dracula sneakin' up from behind, and he reached for his gun, which he just couldn't find._

_That's coz Gandalf stole it and he shot and he missed, and Boots the Chimp deflected it with his fist._

_He jumped in the air an' he did a somersault, while the 4th Hokage tried to polevault_

_onto Jimmy Neutron, but they collided in the air, and they both got hit by a Barney staaaaaaare..._

_This is the TV Guy showdoooooown! Of the TV Guy destiny._

_Good guys, bad guys and ninjutsuuuuuuu! As far as the eye can see._

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be. This is the TV Guy showdooooown!_

_Of the TV Guy destiny._

_Angels sang out, in a joy like candy._

_Down from the heavens, descended Squirrel Sandy._

_Who delivered a kick, that could ruin this story._

_Into the crotch, of Cowboy Woody._

_Who screamed bloody murder, and fell on the ground._

_And suddenly there, his gun he had found._

_But Sandy did notice, the weapon at hand._

_And she whipped Cowboy Woody, with an old sweatband._

_Then a dude named Drake, and a dude named Josh, and the staff of Giant and the staff of Osh Kosh,_

_Aaron Carter, Kelly Slater, a Californian ice skater,_

_A team called the Titans, a guy who loved flowers, and that famous spy, who's name's Austin Powers,_

_Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma and Gai,_

_Timmy Turner, Trixie Tang, Katara an' Aang_

_Ruby Bridges, Rosa Parks, and all the animals from Noah's ark._

_Came out of the blue, they rose from the ash,_

_And they kicked Squirrel Sandy an' her squirrel ass._

_T'was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw, pedestrians stood and stared on in awe._

_The fight raged on for a century, many lives were claimed, but eventually._

_The winner was clear, t'was all for the best._

_THE GROUP OF SENSEIS IN THEIR JOUNIN VESTS._

_This is the TV Guy showdoooooown! Of the TV guy destiny._

_Good guys, bad guys, and ninjutsuuuuuuuu! As far as the eye can see._

_And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be. This is the TV Guy showdoooooown!_

_Of the TV Guy destiny._

_This is the TV Guy showdoooooown! Of the TV Guy destiny._

_This is the TV guy shooooooowdooooooown._

_Of the TV Guy destiny._

**Ok, that's the end. If you want to see where I got this idea, google "The Ultimate Showdown" and look for the flash video. The only reason I know what this is is because my brother showed it to me one day.**

By now, all the Chuunin were awake, and they'd watched the battle unfold before them. They looked like... well, what would you look like if you woke up to see _that_?

"Holy shit..." murmured Sasuke. Everyone else was speechless.

Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Naruto, and Gai climbed down from the pile of bodies. "Well, that was a complete waste of time." said Asuma.

"Does this mean there won't be any more Avatar episodes, if Aang and Katara are dead?" asked Naruto. "If so, I call Momo!"

"Well, I want APPA!" cried Kiba. "Appa's cool!"

"But Momo's cooler!"

"No, Appa is!"

"Momo!"

"Appa!"

"Momo!"

"Appa!"

"_Mo!"_

_"App!"_

_"MO!"_

_"APP!"_

_"_SHUT UP!_" _screamed Tenten. "Neither of you is right! Uncle Iroh is the coolest!"

"Well, yeah..."

"He sort of is..."

"Always keeping his cool..."

"But he'd be even cooler if, instead of tea, he drank ramen!"

"Argh! SHUT UP!" yelled Sakura. "Does it really matter who's the coolest? Look, do _any _of you even know what's going to happen to us now that the senseis and Naruto won the fight?"

"Uh... no." everyone else said in unison.

"They're going to torture us again!" screamed Sakura. "They're going to do horrible things like unleash a total damnation upon us! I can't believe I ever even agreed to go on this trip!" Sakura fell over on the ground and began having a seziure.

"2318! WE HAVE A 2318!" screeched Ino. Everyone pounced on Sakura except the senseis, who stood there looking at the Chuunin with looks of obvious confusion.

"What the hell are they doing?"

"I dunno."

"It looks like they all have been tortured for far too long. Maybe we'd better lay off for now. Let them finish their camping trip in peace."

"You mean it?" asked Tenten. Everyone hopped off Sakura, who immediatly stopped her seziure and stood up. "You won't bother us anymore?"

"Sure!" said Kakashi. "In fact, you can go back to that house you're renting and we won't ever be seen. I can promise you, upon my Icha Icha Paradise books, that we senseis will _never _harass you during this trip again. Not once."

"Aww, RIGHT!" all the teenagers yelled. "Thanks, so much, Kakashi-sensei! Bye!" Just like that, they were gone.

"Did you really mean that, Kakashi?" asked Asuma. "We're not gonna kidnap them, annoy them, get them drunk... anything?"

"No." said Kakashi, a sly grin creeping across his face under his mask. "_We _won't. But, well... who's to say the evil hamsters wouldn't?"

_tbc..._

Do you want to kill me? Strangle me? Kick my butt? I don't blame you, I'd want to if I was given that kind of cliffie! But here's the thing... MY BRAIN'S OUTTA IDEAS! Which means, more ideas are welcome! So you just send me a feedback, and I'll update about ten times quicker because I had ideas to put up! So, hell, MAKE ME IDEAS AND REVIEW, YOU IDIOTS! Next chapter will be done by Friday, possibly before. I hope. Don't kill me if it's not!


	14. Long Lost Brothers?

News flash peeps: THE AUTHOR GOT LAZY. So don't be mad if it got up a little later than I said it would, ok? I'm sorry! Mr. O'Connel's been pushing me to practice my trombone more. I CAN'T HELP IT! SPARE ME! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Runs away screaming) LOL.

K, I didn't get as many reviews as I'd hoped for on the last chapter, and I'll bet it was because of the ultimate showdown. The reason? It was just... random and funny. And that's pretty much what this fanfic's supposed to be. So I promise, no more ultimate showdowns. Ok? Ok. Good bye.

**On with the Story...**

A _very _happy group of Chuunin dashed into a mountain house. Once inside, Naruto splashed the remaining punch on Kiba's head, then ran around doing crazy maniac laughter, while everyone else was hugging and cheering. Except for Gaara, who no one knew where he was. Confetti sprinkled down from the ceiling, where Temari was standing with a big box of the stuff. The place was literally a party paradise.

Except for one thing, and it wasn't the evil hamsters.

Tenten skipped through the house, trying to think of some sort of matchmaker thing to do. She wanted to try something other than Sasuke and Sakura, and she couldn't think of anything for Shikamaru and Ino at the moment. If she had Naruto and Hinata kiss, Hinata might faint, and then Naruto might try to kill her. So that left-

_Me and Neji. Interesting._

Suddenly she heard giggling, which snapped her out of her trance. But it wasn't any _normal_ giggling. It was _Gaara _giggling. And if you ever hear Gaara giggle for more than two seconds, you are scarred for life. So naturally, when Gaara heard a thump and looked up from his MarioKart, he saw Tenten lying on the floor, her eye twitching dangerously.

"No. I'm not going to try and find out. No." and the red-haired sand nin turned back to his game, laughing like a madman whenever his Spiny Shells knocked over another Kart racer (The game he's playing is MarioKart DS).

Meanwhile, back at the party going on in the foyer, they were finally winding down. Sasuke finally turned off the Toshiro Masuda soundtrack in the middle of _The Raising Fighting Spirit, _and collapsed on the floor next to Shikamaru, who was completely zonked out. Everyone was totally exauhsted, when suddenly, out of the blue, Orochimaru and Voldemort came bursting into the room!

"Hey, wait a minute!" cried Voldemort, "This isn't Hogwarts!"

"And this isn't the Evil Villain's Evil Lair Type House Thing, either!" exclaimed Orochimaru. Everyone stared at him.

Suddenly, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger appeared. "Well, this is stupid. We're not at Hogwarts! Not even at the Evil Villain's Evil Lair Type House Thing!" said Hermione.

"Okay, what the hell _is _this Evil Villain's Evil Lair Type House Thing Thingy?" asked Ino. Suddenly, Orochimaru realized that Sasuke was right in front of him.

"Ah, so _this _is where you escaped to, Sasuke-kun. Now, I'm afraid, since you've been such a nuisance, I'll just take you here and now. Orochimaru charged at Sasuke, but before he could reach him-

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Instantly, Orochimaru was wavering up in the air, Harry pointing his wand at him like a branding iron. "First it's a duel to the death. Voldemort or me."

"Oh, screw it. Can't we just let the weird guy with long, girly hair 'take' this Sasuke-kun?" asked Ron. Sasuke gasped. Sakura gasped. Naruto gasped. Hinata gasped. Kiba gasped. Ino gasped. Shikamaru gasped. Lee gasped. Tenten gasped. Neji gasped. Temari gasped. Gaara killed Mario and Luigi in their Kart. And Ron said, "What? All I said was that his hair was girly."

"And now you're going to die." muttered Sasuke. "Orochimaru's too conceited to let that slide." As if on cue, Orochimaru charged at Ron and within a millisecond, Ron was gone.

"Holy effing mother of shit..." murmured Voldemort... "This man is just like me! He's got BLOODLUST! And he made the acursed Harry Potter's best friend die! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh, what the hell." said Orochimaru. He stretched out his neck and bit Voldemort on the neck.

"Gasp!" said Sasuke.

"Gasp!" said Sakura.

"Gasp!" said Naruto.

"Gasp!" said Hinata.

"Gasp!" said Kiba.

"Gasp!" said Ino.

"Gasp!" said Shikamaru.

"Gasp! Yosh!" said Lee.

"Gasp!" said Tenten.

"Gasp!" said Neji.

"Gasp!" said Temari.

"Gasp!" said Harry.

"Gasp!" said Hermione.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! DIE, PRINCESS PEACH!" screamed Gaara.

"Too bad." said Voldemort. "Because... MY ULTIMATE WIZARD POWERS CAN DEFEAT YOU! PLUS, I HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR TACTICS, OROCHIMARU! BECAUSE I READ SHONEN JUMP!"

"Voldemord reads Shonen Jump?" asked Sakura.

"Of course! Where else do you think I'd have thought to make _Wormtail _my assistaint? Because Yoh's best friend is Manta, of course! And Yoh benifits from that!"

By now, everyone was staring at Voldemort with looks of pure shock.

"The darkest wizard in the universe reads graphic novels? That's just... wrong." said Hermione. Harry nodded slowly.

Orochimaru slowly began to grin. And it wasn't his normal, evil grin, either. This was a _happy _grin. It had extreme care and trust. And Orochimaru's eyes filled with tears.

"Brother...?"

"HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA! WHAT'S GOIN' ON?" Everyone yelled. "BROTHER? WHAT'S THE DEAL?"

"I was told... that I had a long-lost brother... who loved graphic novels..." said Orochimaru between his sobs. He then embraced Voldemort in his arms so tightly, Voldemort's eyes bulged out. "This... this _must _be him!"

"Wow, this is getting scary... said Shikamaru. Kiba stared at him "It was _scary _when we got kidnapped. It was _scary _when I got forced to watch that Know Your Shinobi tape over and over. It was _scary _when every single famous person/cartoon character got killed in a TV Guy showdown. But _this-" _he gestured to the hugging villains. "-_this _goes way past _scary, _all the way to _INSANE!" _

How right Kiba was. Seriously, just picture Orochimaru, this long-haired, freaky-eyed, white-skinned evil guy, hugging Voldemort, this bald, freaky-nosed, white-skinned evil-er guy. Not a very pretty sight. So, naturally, everyone was looking at the two villains like O.O... except for Gaara.

"EAT BANANA PEELS, DK! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"C'mon, brother, let's go for a walk!" cried Voldemort, wrapping an arm around Orochimaru's waist. Orochimaru did the same. "I love you, brother!"

"I love you too!" The two freaky men walked away, sobbing and laughing at the same time. Everyone's jaws dropped so far they crashed straight through the Earth and popped up out of the ground somewhere in the Bahamas.

"Well, that was insanely insane. I need to sit down." said Neji, and collapsed onto a sofa. Harry and Hermione looked at each other, then disapparated away. The rest of them just stared into space, in extreme shock.

"What... the... hell..." said Sasuke. The others could only nod their heads in agreement.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Ok, everybody! Dinner!" called Sakura from the kitchen. Shikamaru was lounging on the couch watching The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, but everyone else sped into the kitchen, including Gaara and the Nintendo DS. "Gyahahahaha! Die, Baby Mario!"

"Spaghetti and meatballs. It's my specialty." said Sakura proudly. Everyone dug into the food.

"Yum, this is delicious, Sakura-chan!"

"Yeah, really good!"

"Ih da beh spagehi I evah ade!"

"YES! I'M IN FIRST PLACE! TAKE THAT- _ulp - _THAT, BOWSER!"

"Gaara, put the machine away."

"Don't say that again or I'll kill you!"

"Ok! Convinced me!"

"I'm so glad you all like my food!"

But, unknown to the hungry shinobi, a group of evil hamsters were perched above the large pot of spaghetti.

"Agent C, do you have the potion?"

"Of course, Agent R!"

"Give it to me."

"Right away!"

"Alright. Now I just pour it into the spaghetti... there! Come on, Agents A, C, P! Let's go hide. It shouldn't be too long till they're all zonked out!"

_TBC..._

I'm sorry if it was a little short, (was it?) but I finally watched Inuyasha! BOO-yea! I'm on episode... 21, now. And it is SO cool! Next chapter: Shikamaru didn't eat the spaghetti, remember? So he's gonna have to figure out how to wake everyone up! Of, course, it won't be easy, with the hamsters pranking him every which way! Also, who is the C.R.A.P squad? FIND OUT SOON!

-Natsyourlord

PS: I'll update when state testing is over, OK? I'm having HUGE pressure put on me right now, seeing as I'm "academically gifted" or some other crap. This may take a little over 2 weeks. If I have the chance, though, I'll update!


	15. Shikamaru's Peril, Part 1

Hiya, peeps! Guess what? I started writing this at 11:23... _PM. _That means there's only 37 minutes... no, 3_6 _inutes left until midnight! YAAAAAY! This is the latest I've ever been up on a computer! I wish I could say it's a school night, but it's Friday. WEEKEND! Anyways, weekend means time off from testing and time off from testing means I gotta start typing before all you savage fan-people come and try to maim me.

**On With the Story...**

_**Oh, by the way, this chapter is told from Shikamaru's POV.**_

I was sitting in the living room, having to put up with Gaara's insane giggling from the kitchen, when it suddenly stopped. The giggling, I mean. Because Gaara's giggling doesn't stop like that. It just doesn't.

Then I heard the thumps. And they scared me. I know that I'm a highly-ranked Chuunin, but the thumps still scared me, because I heard it before.

It was the same sound as when a comrade collapses, lifeless, on the ground during a mission, and you can't do anything about it.

I jumped up off the couch and ran into the kitchen. I know that I don't run a lot, but that noise has embedded itself in my brain enough so that I can't help getting scared from it. So that's why I was so scared when I saw everyone lying on the ground or slumped over in their chairs, eyes closed.

I swear to god I think my heart skipped a beat when I saw that.

"Ino? Sakura? Naruto? Anybody?" I asked. No one responded... and I felt so dizzy I nearly collapsed myself.

Then... _it _hit my head. And by _it _I mean a raw egg, now splattered all over my face.

I'm allergic to eggs.

"Damn! A trap!" I yelled, and ran overe to the sink, then tried to get the egg yolk out of my hair. I undid my ponytail and let the water wash the egg out of my hair.

"But not even Asuma knows I'm allergic to eggs... so it couldn't have been the senseis... but then who-" he stopped short, remebering something horrible.

_-**Flashback-**_

_"Shikamaru! Why don't you eat my eggs!" yelled Asuma, dumping about 20 pounds of scrambled eggs on my plate. "They're special!"_

_"Oh, fine. I'm allergic, okay? Every time I eat an egg, or get it close to my skin, I break out in hives."_

_**-End of Flashback-**_

Oh, crud.

I can feel the hives already coming out. And now they're itching. Shit.

"AURGH!" I screamed, trying to scratch all of the red welts at the same time. "IT BURNS!"

"**Next time, don't mess with the C.R.A.P. squad.**" came a voice.

"But I didn't... who names themself the C.R.A.P. squad, anyway?"

"**Uh... long story.**"

"I've got time."

"**No.**"

"Kagemane no Jutsu!"

"**Aww, crud.**"

Heh, now I've got 'em. All I had to do was pinpoint the location of the voice. "Now we'll see who you are!" I walked in my shadow, towards the strange voice.

"Alright, I - A _hamster!"_

"Ehehehehehehe... ya, I'm Agent C."

"A _hamster?" _Okay, now I'm confused. How did a _hamster _know that I'm allergic to eggs?

"How did you know I'm allergic to eggs?"

"Oh, you _are? _Because to us, egg yolk is just plain annoying. But if you're allergic to them..."

"Then, what?"

"TURBO CHARGER EGG SHOOTER!" screamed Agent C.

And three more hamsters came in, carrying... Oh, great. An egg-bazooka. Just what I need. When do the dancing lollipops get here? I groaned in frustration.

"DAMMIT!"

I ran around in circles, at the same time trying to think, so I made my bowl shaped thinking hand-sign. But that made it harder to run, so I had to stop, but then I wasn't thinking as well, so I eventually just sprinted out of the kitchen.

And tripped over a thread dental floos strung 6 inches above the floor. "Could this get any worse?" I cried in frustration.

Then one of the hamsters shoved a laptop in front of my nose, and it was playing The Demented Cartoon Movie by Brian Kendall. (You can watch this on albino blacksheep, too.)

_"So was he some sort of kamikaze-type person?"_

_"Well, at least he wasn't a watermelon."_

_"Watermelon? You mean like a... kamikaze watermelon?"_

_**DOO-DOO-DOO DOO DOO-DOO! **Splat._

_"No, that was a kamikaze watermelon."_

_"So what's next?"_

_"I dunno. Another kamikaze watermelon?_

_**DOO-DOO-DOO DOO DOO-DOO! **Splat._

_"Yup."_

_"I'm outta here."_

I stared at the screen in disbelief. "This is so stupid."

"Didja ever think why we made you watch it?" asked Agent C.

"Well... yeah..." This movie was completely demented. On the screen it said: _Qrrbrlbllelbel. Coming soon: Romeo and Juliet!_

_"Oh, Juliet."_

_"Oh, Romeo. Catch!"_

_**BOOM!**_

_"Arrgh! Juliet! For the last time! Don't! Do that!"_

_"Sorry."_

_"Alright. Bring out the Auto-Romeo-Maker!"_

"Auto-Romeo-Maker?" I asked, staring.

_squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak..._

_POOF._

_squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak..._

_"Ok, now we are going to try this again. And once again, NO MORE BOMB-THROWING."_

_"Okay."_

_"Oh, Juliet."_

_"Oh, Romeo. I, heheh, heheheheee... wuhawuowee... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

_**BOOM!**_

_"ARGH!"_

"ARGH!" I yelled. "What's the point of this movie?"

"Well, most people watch it for fun. But in your case, it's to annoy you!"

"Grr..."

_TBC..._

Okay, peeps... I'm tired... very tired... it's now 12:45... I'm gonna leave it here and upload tomorrow, which means by the time you read this it'll be today, which means... Oh, what the hell. I'm too tired to write more. I'm probably not gonna update for a while, seing as we're right in the middle of test-week... WAH! Bye...

-Natsyourlord


	16. Shikamaru's Peril, Part 2

Hooray! Chapter 16 underway! Okay, people, I'm thinking of wrapping this up soon. (dodges large objects thrown by rabid fans) I'M SORRY! I WILL MAKE A SEQUEL, WITH THE SETTING IN WINTER, BUT THERE'S REALLY NOTHING ELSE FOR THEM TO DO IN THIS ONE! AURGH!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Dammit, I've been watching this accursed Demented Cartoon Movie for two hours straight.

Don't get me wrong, it would be funny... to someone who doesn't always try to think things out the logical way, like me.

_"Aaaaah!"_

_"Muahahahaha! How are you doing, my dear?"_

_"Aaaaah!"_

_"Screaming will get you nowhere!"_

_"Actually I'm screaming because my head's about to pop off."_

_". . . What?"_

_**POP**_

_"Dang it... bring out the Auto-Damsel-Maker."_

"Urgh! Why the hell are you making me watch this over and ov-_ Oh, look. An ant. Wait a minute... that's not an ant. SHOOP. Zeeky boogy doog. Blam! -_AAAAAAH!" I screamed.

"That's why." said Agent A.

"Screw thi- _This is your onboard computer system. We are about to crash. What do you want to do? -_OH, MY GOD! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!"

Agent C grinned evilly, rubbing his hands - paws? - together. "You are replaying little parts of the Demented Cartoon Movie in your head at this very second!

Oh, god. I want it all to end. I really do. I mean it. I can't take another SECOND of this! JUST MAKE IT STOP!

And Shikamaru woke up on the couch.

"Oi, Shikamaru! Don't you want any of Sakura-chan's spaghetti? It's really good!" Naruto yelled from the kitchen. "It's going fast!"

Shikamaru blinked. "You mean I'm not watching the Demented Cartoon Movie?"

Sakura stepped into the living room, giggling. "Of course not! Just come on in here and eat."

Shikamaru stood up off the couch, and rubbed his eyes. The hamsters, the Demented Cartoon Movie, and the eggs... none of them were real. It had all just been a dream. He walked into the kitchen, where everyone was eating.

"Ne, Nara, come on and eat." Sasuke told him, scooping up some more pasta. "It's good stuff."

Shikamaru just sat down and waited to be served. _But it all seemed so real..._

"Here you go!" said Sakura cheerfully, dumping some noodles on his plate and covering it with tomato sauce. "Eat up!"

Shikamaru was more than happy to oblige.

When everyone was finished, they all sat down in the living room. Shikamaru pulled out a book, Neji turned on the TV, and everyone else surrounded Gaara and Hinata in the middle of another NintenDogs war. Shika looked around and grinned. Everyting was as it should be.

"Come on, Hinata! Show this loser that you can beat him any day!" Naruto cheered, doing a little victory dance around the mob f campers. Shikamaru just grinned and went back to reading.

Then the TV screwed up. _We interrupt this program to give you a special announcement. The Potter Puppet Pals have won for the best puppet show in the country of Japan. Let's give them a round of applause! And then we'll watch a clip from the episode: Trouble at Hogwarts!_

_The Potter Puppet Pals Present..._

_Trouble at Hogwarts!_

Everyone, including Gaara, stopped what they were doing to look at the TV.

_Harry Potter, Ron, and Hermione apeared on the screen. "Wow. Howarts is great! This is the best place in the world."_

_"Yes!" exclaimed Ron. "Hogwarts is so much fun!"_

_Hermione popped up. "I love to learn!"_

_"I love magic!" Harry chimed in._

_"I love you, Harry!" cried Ron._

_Harry stood there for a second. "Um." _

_Then Dumbledore showed up. "I've got bad news, kids."_

_"Oh, no! What is is?" said the three little kids in unison._

_"The Dark Lord Voldemort is attacking Hogwarts."_

_"Gasp! What will we do?"_

_"Uh, I dunno." Dumbledore walked away. Then dark music played in the background, and a poorly made Voldemort puppet walked onto the scene. "MUAHAHAHAHA! Now, Hogwarts is mine!"_

_A green Snape puppet came out of nowhere. "I am Snape, the Potions master. I must stop him." he pulled out a wand. "Avada Kedavra!" But the wand short-circuted!_

"What the hell is this?" muttered Sasuke.

_"Hahahahaha... Avada Kedavra!" and Snape fell over, dead._

_"Here he comes!" cried Hermione. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" yelled Ron, running away. Voldemort walked over to Harry and Hermione. "It's time to die, for you!"_

_"You can't do this!" said Harry._

_"Oh, yes I can! Avada Ke-"_

_"Wait!" said Harry and Hermione._

_"What is it?"_

_Harry and Hermione walked away._

_"Hey! Darn." Then Ron came screaming back onto the screen. He stopped for a second, then whacked Voldemort while saying, "Bother.", and then ran back to Harry and Hermione._

_"What are we going to do?" cried Hermione. Harry stared at her. "There's nothing we can do! We're finished!"_

_"Wait a minute!" yelled Ron. "I've got a plan!"_

"There is something seriously wrong with this." murmured Ino.

Naruto snickered. "Well, I think it's funny, ne, Hinata-chan?"

"Um... Y-Yes, Naruto-kun." _B-but it's n-not, really..._

_Tat's all we have for you today. If you'd like to see more, go to p o t t e r p u p p e t p a l s . c o m and select "Trouble at Hogwarts." Bye!_

"Neji, turn it off, before we all go insane!" yelled Tenten.

"No," said Neji. "I want to see this!" Then he turned into the Zeeky H Bomb, and everyone else turned into Blah Guys.

Shikamaru screamed, then woke up sweating.

"Shika, are you alright?" asked Ino, coming over to untie him. "Come on, and... what are you doing with egg in your hair?"

"Uh, I'm fine, Ino. Hey, did you see any hamsters around?"

"No. Why? I just finished my spaghetti. No hamsters around." She patted him o the back reassuringly. "You must've had a pretty bad dream, eh?"

"Uh, yeah..." Shikamaru started, then stopped.

He'd just seen a hamster disappear behind the sofa.

_TBC..._

I'm evil leaving you hanging like that, right? Yeah, I am. But testing is evil, and I couldn't really update for a while. So sorry! Okay... also, if you didn't understand, what happened was that Shikamaru fell asleep. He had a dream about everything _being _ a dream, and he couldn't really tell the difference until he woke up from _that _dream, when he saw the hamster, then he realized that the experience he'd had before he fell asleep was real, and the other dream was fake. Still confusing? I thought so.

Sorry, again!

-Natsyourlord


	17. Truth or Dare Double Length

WOO-WOO! TESTING IS OVER, PEOPLE! OVER! IN CELEBRATION, I HAVE MADE A DOUBLE-LENGTH, FLUFFY CHAPTER TO THANK YOU ALL FOR WAITING BETWEEN THE SHIKAMARU'S PERIL CHAPTERS AND THE LONG UPDATES! ALSO, FOR ANYONE WHO'S READING ROCK LEE'S DATING SERVICE, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS NOW UP! BUT IN THE MEANTIME, LET US ENJOY THIS CHAPTER IN THE WONDERFUL CAMPFIRE GEEKS! I AM JUST so HAPPY THAT TEST WEEK IS over! woo-hoo! HEY, THE CAPSLOCK IS ON? WAIT A SECOND, WHO TOOK OFF THE LABELS FOR THE KEYBOARD BUTTONS AGAIN? ARGH! WHICH ONE IS THE CAPSLOCK BUTTON? OH, HERE IT is. No, I'm not gonna TYPE ALL THAT OVER AGAIN. HEY. DARn it! Darn the capslock button!

Enjoy the happy happy Campfire Geeks!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Oh, oh crud." muttered Shikamaru. "Uh, uh, maybe it was my imagination. That's it. My imagination. Right."

Ino cocked an eyebrow. "What was your imagination?"

"Oh, uh, nothing! Nothing at all! Hey oh look Naruto's got Princess Mononoke lezgowach." Shikamaru ran over to the couch and sat down, waiting for Naruto to put in the DVD. Ino sweatdropped, then went over and sat next to him.

They were just getting to the part where Ashitaka was carrying San out of Irontown after the fight with Eboshi when Sakura walked in with an empty Coke bottle. "Hey, guys! I were really, really bored so I decided to drink a Coke and play spin the bottle, truth or dare, crossover!" she crowed.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" muttered Shikamaru. But Ino had already jumped over the couch and joined Sakura, giggling and talking excitedly. Shikamaru sighed, then walked over to them. "Fine, I'm in."

"Oh, that's great, Shika!" cried Ino, spinning around. "But, we're just gonna blackmail everyone into playing anyway, so no problem!" Shikamaru's eyes widened and he stepped away from Ino. "Okaaaaay..."

About a half an hour later, everyone was sitting in a circle in the living room, with most of the boys sulking. Gaara was there too, but still staring intently at the Nintendo DS.

"Okay, everyone. Now, this was Sakura's idea, so she spins the bottle first!" said Hinata happily. "Sakura?"

Sakura grinned. "With pleasure." She put a hand over the bottle and spun it. Spin... spin... spin... STOP!

"Neji! Truth or dare?"

Neji looked uncertain. He wasn't going to choose truth, but, then... he had a bad feeling about choosing dare. Something Tenten had said earlier...

"Dare."

All the girls grinned, then began laughing evilly (well, all except Hinata. but she grinned!). Neji sighed, then suddenly remembered something.

**-Flashback-**

_"SPIN THE BOTTLE, TRUTH OR DARE, CROSSOVER!" all the girls screamed. The guys put their hands over their ears._

_"What the hell is that?" asked Neji._

_"Exactly what it sounds like. The 'dare' is going into a closet and making out with a person that the asker gets to pick." replied Tenten curtly._

**-End of Flashback-**

Neji's eyes widened. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes." said Temari evilly. "Sakura, who do you want to go into the closet with Neji?"

Sakura scratched her chin. "Hm... I choose... Tenten! Seven minutes!"

"HWHAT!" yelped Tenten and Neji at the same time.

"It's the dare. No choice." Sakura smirked.

"I'm gonna send you all to your deathbeds." muttered Tenten. She and Neji went reluctantly into the closet. As soon as the door was closed, everyone scrambled over to it and put their ears up against it.

"Now I know why guys hate this game." came Tenten's voice from behind the door.

"Hn."

"Well, it was a dare. might as well get on with it."

"Hn."

"Neji? Neji, are you - mmmf!"

"Oh, my god, they're actually doing it!" whispered Ino.

"Awkward... awkward... murmured Naruto. Soon slight moans could be heard from the closet.

"Sakura, let them out before they start doing... _it!_" whispered Hinata urgently.

"Sorry, Hinata, but the rule is that they can't come out till the seven minutes are up!" Sakura whispered back. Everyone was grinning and flattening their ears agains the door.

"Ten more seconds!"

"Neji..."

"Tenten..."

"Five... four... three... two... one!" Sakura flung the door open. Neji and Tenten tumbled out of the closet. Tenten's lips were considerably red and swollen, and they both were blushing furiously.

"Eh heh heh... I guess we got a little carried away, eh?" murmured Neji sheepishly. Tenten just sat there, dazed, until Sakura shook her vigorously. "Uh... sorry. Who's next?"

"No one knows, yet. Neji has to spin the bottle." They reformed the circle, and Neji spun the bottle.

Spin... spin... spin... STOP!

Neji smiled evilly. "Hinata! Truth or dare?"

"Uhm... c-can we b-b-bend the r-rules a l-little?

"How so?"

"Uh... w-well, so that the d-dare won't always b-be to m-make out in the c-closet?"

"Sure!"

Tenten and Neji both glared at Ino with flaming eyes. "HEY!"

Ino shrugged. "Well are you telling me you guys _didn't _enjoy that make-out session? Coz from what _I _heard, you were having a hell of a time in there."

Neji flushed. "Uh... no we weren't."

"You've gotta be kidding me." Ino scoffed.

"Guys, PLEASE!" yelled Sakura. "Okay, now, Hinata, what's your choice? Truth or dare?"

Hinata frowned worriedly. "Um... d-dare." She looked around nervously, as if expecting to be crushed.

Neji grinned. "Hinata, you need to use your byakugan to look at Naruto's body naked!"

"W-WHAT!"

That just made Neji's grin get wider. "You heard me."

"W-What h-h-happens if I r-refuse?"

"Then you go on to truth. And I have the perfect question." Neji smirked, looking at Naruto pointedly. Hinata gulped, holding back a howl of humiliation. "Uh..." she whispered. No. She was going to do the dare. She wasn't a chicken. She'd show Neji!

"I'll d-do the dare."

"Alright. Let's see it." Neji put his elbows on his knees, folded his fingers, and rested his chin on them. "We're waiting..."

"_Ulp_." Hinata looked at a sweating Naruto. Everyone watched as the spidery veins crept out across the sides of her face, the lines appearing in her eyes. She stared at Naruto for a full ten seconds before releasing the byakugan and fainting.

"Hinata?" asked Kiba, shaking his friend. The girl slowly woke up, acting very jumpy and nervous. Hinata slowly got up and, refusing to make eye contact with anybody, crawled slowly over to the bottle.

"Oh, my god..." muttered Sasuke. "Naruto, what the hell _do _you look like under there?"

"Like a normal guy, duh!" cried Naruto defensively.

Shikamaru groaned. "Troublesome."

Hinata spun the bottle. It landed on Shikamaru.

"Troublesome." Bird poop landed on Shikamaru's head.

"Troubles-" "Shika!"

"What?"

"Stop, okay? I think the "T" word is cursing you. Now let's get on with the question." Ino ordered. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"Okay, S-Shikamaru, I d-d-dare you t-to... to... I c-can't say it. It m-makes me f-feel wrong, s-sort of." murmured Hinata. "T-Temari, do you k-know what I m-m-mean?"

"Yeah, I do. Shikamaru, MAKE OUT WITH INO LIKE TENTEN AND NEJI DID!" yelled Temari triumphantly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Okay, I was gonna end there, but this is a double length chapter, right? So this needs to be longer... a lot longer. Alright, carry on!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"What? We... urgh. No use doing the troublesome complaining. C'mon, Ino." They went into the closet. As soon as they did, everyone ran over and shoved their ears agains the door.

"Shika-kun, why are we doing this?"

"I don't know, it's part of the game. And, well, we listened in on Tenten and Neji, so now they're probably listening to us. Wanna give 'em something to hear?"

"Why not?"

The noises in the closet instantly changed.

"Oh... oh, Shika... mmmm..."

"Kaaaaaami, this feels good..."

A few bumps, moans, and giggles could be heard from inside the closet. Everyone backed away from it very slowly, all with shocked expressions.

"Oh, my god..." muttered Sasuke.

"They're baaaaad..." whispered Temari.

"This is fun." Naruto grinned. "Hinata-chan, Neji, use your byakugan and tell us what's going on in there."

"W-what? S-Sorry, Naruto-kun, I d-don't believe in invading o-other people's p-p-privacy." Neji, however, felt differently.

"Alright." He activated his byakugan. What he saw, though, was even more unexpected than he'd thought.

Everyone stared at Neji as his jaw dropped to the floor. "Neji, what did you see?" asked Lee excitedly.

"They... they..."

"They're having sex?"

"Shika's feeling Ino's boobs?"

"Perv!" WHAP!

"Oww..."

"JUST TELL US ALREADY!"

"They... are... CHEATING! OH, MY GOD, WHAT A BUNCH OF FAT-ASSED JERKS! THEY'RE NOT DOING _ANYTHING _AT ALL! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME!" Neji screamed. Kiba quickly jumped up and swung the door open. In the closet, Ino and Shikamaru were sitting, cross-legged, with guilty expressions on their faces.

Far apart.

"Whoops." muttered Shikamaru. "Didn't mean for that to happen."

Ino blushed. "Are we in trouble, Hinata, for violating the rules?"

"Well..." Hinata thought for a moment. "S-Sort of. Y-You have t-to... w-well, you h-have to m-make out out h-here so everyone c-c-can s-see you."

"Oh, man."

"Poopie."

Sakura rubbed her hands together. "Okay, let's see some magic, people! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Everyone gaped at Sakura.

"Heh... okay, Ino, Shikamaru... begin!"

Shikamaru took a deep breath, then leaned forwards and crushed his lips against Ino's.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh..." everyone said simutaneously. They all watched as the kiss turned from a tight-lipped mash into an open-mouthed, probing type thingy (MAN, I've been reading too much of this stuff).

"Get a room!" called Naruto, standing up next to Kiba and waving Chinese yo-yo's. (Where they got them I have no idea.) "This is starting to get gross!"

Ino pulled away from Shikamaru long enough to say, "Shut up, Naruto." before continuing to make out with the very happy Nara.

"Aww, man, when does it stop!" cried Kiba, running out of the room with Naruto right behind him. Everyone else was either too busy being fascinated by Ino's and Shikamaru's behavior, hiding their faces in their hands, or destroying some very popular Nintendo characters to follow.

Then, unintentionally, Ino let out a small moan.

"HOLY CRAP! HE'S TURNING HER ON!" yelled Temari. "When I get my hands on him, I'll-"

"You'll do nothing." said Sakura, still staring at Shika and Ino, who seemed to be oblivious to all that was going on around them. "Sorry to say this, Temari, but Shikamaru is just not your type."

"I never said he was!" Temari shrieked again. "But we don't want them to start having sex, now do we? If they dd, Ino'd get pregnant, and then we'd have a bunch of little Ino Nara's running around!"

Sakura instantly yelled, "Okay, people, time is UP! And Shikamaru, get your hand off Ino's ass!"

Shikamaru and Ino ignored her.

"Uh, Sakura-chan?" came Naruto's voice from the hallway. "I don't think they heard you."

**_"CAN YOU NUTJOBS STOP AT LEAST UNTIL THE GAME IS OVER!"_** Sakura roared at the making out pair.

They ignored her once again.

Then, something happened that not only saved the day, but scarred everybody for life.

Gaara giggled and said, "Yay! I won the Mushroom Cup!"

Chaos ensued.

"AUUGH! MY EARS!" yelled Sasuke.

"WAAAAK!" cried Tenten.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" screeched Sakura.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING?" bellowed Neji.

"WHAT THE HELL IS MUSHROOM CUP!" screamed Ino.

Everyone stopped and looked at Ino.

"Well... they stopped." murmured Lee.

"Shikamaru, spin the bottle." Neji ordered. He did.

Spin... spin... spin... STOP!

"Kiba, truth or dare?"

"No way an I doing some sort of gross, perverted dare. Truth."

"Alright." Shikamaru thought for a moment. "Do you really have blue hair?"

"WHAT! No! Why the hell would I have blue hair? Look!" he cried, angrily throwing back his hood. Everyone sighed sadly. There was nothing but a mop of dark brown hair.

"Poopie." said Naruto. "That was a waste of a question, and on top of that, Kiba doesn't have blue hair!"

"What does blue hair have to do with anything?" asked Lee.

"Well, it'd be really cool. Like Sakura-chan has pink hair and Hinata-chan has purple hair and Kakashi-sensei has silver hair." said Naruto. "But now we don't have any odd-colored people left!"

"You're a real moron, you know that?"

"Yeah."

"Urgh... Kiba, spin the bottle."

Spin... spin... spin... STOP!

"Alright! Sasuke-teme! Truth or dare!"

"Dare. I can take any sort of perverted dare you losers throw at me."

Naruto leaned over and whispered something in Kiba's ear. Kiba's eyes lit up. "Sasuke! You have to make out with Sakura! And you need to do it right here in front of us, and you need to do it with passion, and you need to do it for _fourteen _minutes, and you need to give her at least one good grope!" cried Kiba with glee. Then he and Naruto began to laugh evilly, until Ino slapped them both across the face. "Get a grip, you morons!"

Both Sakura and Sasuke glared daggers at Naruto and Kiba before walking over to each other. Sasuke put his hands on Sakura's waist, Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck, and they kissed.

It started innocent enough. They were following all the rules, but soon, they began to enjoy it a little _too _much. Sasuke pulled Sakura closer to him, wrapping his arms even tighter around her, and Sakura shyly opened her mouth, sending her tongue to meet Sasuke's.

Meanwhile, Naruto, and Kiba were holding back violent fits of laughter. Finally they couldn't take it anymore, and rushed into the hallway, howling and whooping with the enjoyment of having Sasuke and Sakura kiss.

Sasuke and Sakura were now playing tonsil hockey, Lee looked ready to break something, Temari, Neji, Tenten, and Ino were watching with amused expressions (Ino's over Sasuke), Shikamaru looked, well bored, and Gaara was still playing MarioKart DS.

What a life.

_TBC..._

Man, that took for_ever _to write. In my opinion, there was too much fluff, but I guess I owe it to you guys; you did wait through two boring chapters and long updates! Just remember... you can tell me _anything..._ /O.O/... ya, this was all filler crap. I gotta get off now. My brother's being very perisistent again... (see bottom of chapter 6)

Later!

-Natsyourlord


	18. Author's Note Don't Hurt Me

Okay. Do you want to strangle me? Throw me out a window? Bind me, gag me, dunk me in blood, and then throw me into shark-infested waters? Well, you probably do, but here's the thing: I'M STUCK. I mean, I need the story to end soon, coz right now all we have is filler crap, but I mean, SERIOUSLY! I can't finish it if I don't have any ideas! So please, PLEASE don't get mad at me, and if you'd like to e-mail me with some ideas that'd be perfect!

Also. **NEW STORY ALERT!** I've had this idea in my head for a while now, and I've decided to post it on fanfiction before it takes over my heart and soul. What would happen if the Narutoverse was flipped? All the main characters swap with their opposites! Sasuke's the vessel of the Kyuubi, Naruto's cold, Sakura's shy, Hinata's on Team 7, Ino's quiet and lazy, Shikamaru's loud and active, Chouji's a vegetarian, Shino loves dogs, Kiba loves bugs, Gai has a Sharingan, and Kakashi has a bowl-shaped hair cut and giant eyebrows! DUN DUN DUN... coming soon!

Thank you all for putting up with me! I know I'm probably annoying you all to hell, but if you'll just give me a few ideas, seeing as I'm completely out, I would love you sooooo much!

-Natsyourlord


	19. Footrace for Idiots

FINALLY, I've made a desicion! See, after I put up that author's note I was getting a full in-box every day. I mean, seriously. It was not even funny. So many people had so many ideas! In the end, I chose a few that really caught my eye. Just because I didn't put your idea in, it doesn't mean I don't like you! In fact, even though this is, sadly, the last chapter. (Dodges matches, chainsaw, elephant tranquilizers, lighter fluid, large axe, stampede, sharks, rapier, bomb, angry mob, and... gets hit with falling piano) Urgh...

FINAL CHAPTER!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

When we left off, Sasuke and Sakura were really getting into the kiss. Sasuke must have given Sakura _five _good gropes, and Sakura was... well, I dunno! She was getting into it! No reluctance! EW!

Also, Kiba and Naruto were letting out peals of laughter, unable to containg it at all. They were rolling around on the floor, clutching their stomachs, the works.

"Oh, my gods, this is hilarious!" shouted Naruto.

"No kidding!" Kiba replied. "This is soooo sweet! I mean, think of all the embarrasing stuff we can make people do! We'd make great partners!"

"Excuse me." came a new voice. "But I think you'll need me to do that dream of yours. No way two losers like you will be able to force people to make out like those two imbeciles in there. Masashi Kishimoto _made _them for each other."

Naruto and Kiba both looked up at the source of the voice. There stood a 16-year-old boy with brown, shaggy hair and blue eyes (picture Bobby Pendragon on the cover of _Black Water _). He was a little taller than Naruto, and looked average in every way except for his pale blue sweatshirt.

It had a bunch of little pastries and such all over it.

"Who the bloody hell are you!" yelled Naruto. The boy looked at him with a panicked expression and covered Naruto's mouth with his hand. "Shut up!" he hissed. "If they find out I'm here before I publicly humiliate them, well, you don't want to know." He gave the two boys a _look. _They understood.

"So what do we do?" asked Naruto.

"Well, here are the pictures I've gotten so far. But we're gonna need a lot more than this if we're gonna blackmail these guys." said the kid, showing Kiba and Naruto one of those digital cameras with the window on the back that lets you see the pictures taken.

"Uh... wow..." Naruto and Kiba said blankly, staring at the digital camera intently.

Sasuke and Sakura making out.

Ino and Shikamaru making out.

Hinata fainting.

Tenten and Neji making out.

"Hey, how'd you get that one?" asked Kiba, still staring at the screen.

The kid smiled. "That's a nifty little feature, right there. It lets me use the camera like a Byakugan eye. I was able to phase the camera's vision through the wall, and I got that picture!"

"Sweet!" Kiba said distractedly, before turning back to the camera. "Hey, do you have pie?"

"Yes, I have pie. I am the Pie-Thrower, master of all pie. But you can call me Jack!" said Jack. "Now lemme have my camera. We must watch them play until we can get humiliating pictures and sell them to Konoha e-bay!"

"WOO-WOO!" yelled Naruto and Kiba.

"Hey, Naruto, Kiba, come on! We need to continue the game." came Sakura's voice from the den. Naruto turned back to Jack, frowning. "What do we do?"

Jack thought for a second. "Um... just go in there and act like everything's normal. When you see the signal, run!"

"Okay. Right." Naruto and Kiba went back into the den and sat down. Everyone stared as Sasuke spun the bottle.

Spin... spin... spin... STOP!

"Okay, Ino... truth or dare?"

"Truth. no way am I gonnamake out with someone. You all have perverted minds."

"Okay... Ino... hm." Sasuke rubbed his chin, making him look like a retard. "Truth: Do you really like Shikamaru?"

Ino's face turned into a tomato. Tomato. Tomoto! Potato. Pototo! No, seriously. Ino's face turned into a giant tomato! She was blushing so hard her whole head turned into a fruit! Or is it a vegetable? I think it's a fruit... Oh, well! Point is, she has a very, very red face, okay? Okay. Good. Okay. "Uhm... yes."

"LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!" Everyone chanted, pumping their arms up in the air. "Ino and Shi-ka, sittin' in a tree. Kay, eye, ess, ess, eye, ehn, jee! First comes LOVE, then comes MARRAGE, then comes the BABY in the BABY CARRAIGE!"

_FLASH! _"Oh, puh-leez!" said Jack, coming into the room. "'Sittin' in a tree'? is that the best you can do? And what's up with the 'LOL'? You know that that's pathetic, right?

Everyone slowly shook their heads.

"Oh, COME ON!" yelled Jack. "Where have you people BEEN! Try this: Ino and Shi-ka, sittin' in a car. Are they NAY-KED, yes, they ARE! First comes SE-"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Ino, throwing the bottle at Jack, who just barely dodged it. "I - Hey, wait a second... I know who you are! You're that Pie Thrower kid! Get over here!" Ino stood up and was going to chase after Jack when -

WHUMP!

She tripped.

Actually, her ankles were tied together. Just like everyone else's.

"OMG! WTF?" yelled Ino, trying to free herself. Everyone else just sat there with bored expressions. Don't ask me why. Maybe they were low on sugar or something?

"YOU DID THIS!" Ino shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at Jack. "YOU TIED US UP!"

"What! No, I didn't! You think you wouldn't notice a 16-year-old boy tying your ankles together? How the hell would I do it; I'm not even a ninja!"

"DON'T ASK ME! BUT I KNOW YOU DID IT!"

"I DIDN'T!"

"I'm afraind he's telling the truth, my dear girl." came a voice from the shadows. Out stepped - well, you probably already know, unless you're an idiot, but I'll tell you anyway - the C.R.A.P. squad.

"Augh! It's them! It's the evil hamsters who put me through demented animated - _I'm Superblah. I'm here to save the day! - _torture!" yelled Shikamaru.

"Okay, now, listen. Kakashi said he'll let us send you all home very, very soon. All you need to do for us is one simple thing."

"Does it involve pain?" asked Lee.

"Not unless you fall."

"Does it involve strain?"

"Depends on your lung capacity."

"Does it involve rain?"

"Not unless it- hey, wait a minute... WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE RHYMING WORDS?"

"I don't know. So, anyway, what do we have to do?" said Lee.

"You have to run a 100-mile-long marathon." said the hamster. Everyone fell over in dead faint, except Lee, who said, "Is that all?"

"Uhm... yes..." said the hamster. "...that's all. Now... EVERYONE OUTSIDE!" Everybody, including Jack and Lee, shot up and sprinted outside.

"You all have to run to the top of this mountain. Who ever gets there first will recieve 1,000,000 yen. Now... GO!" Everyone began sprinting up the mountain, dreaming of what they could get with 1,000,000 yen.

_Hokage-flavored Ramen..._ though Naruto.

_A new, non-chicken hairdo..._ thought Sasuke.

_Plastic surgery on my forehead... _thought Sakura.

_Nothing troublesome... _thought Shikamaru.

_Tight clothing... _thought Ino.

_N-Naruto-kun... _thought Hinata.

_A dog empire... _thought Kiba.

_A surname... _thought Tenten.

_Land the Main Branch on milk cartons..._ thought Neji.

_Master Gai's. Master Gai's everywhere... _thought Lee.

_Kingdom Hearts, Chain of Memories... _thought Gaara (even though it's a sucky Kingdom Hearts game).

_No Gaara... _thought Temari.

_Pie- wait, I already have pie. _thought Jack.

Finally, after about... a minute, Rock Lee appeared at the summit.

And was knocked out cold.

The same happened to everyone except Jack, who was strapped onto a rocket and sent to Uranus. Then the hamsters ate his pie. And two hours later will be the next pararaph.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Everyone awoke at exactly the same time.

"Urgh... what happened?" asked a confused Tenten, looking around. "Why are we here all of a sudden?"

"I don't know, but I want ramen! Hey, Mr. Ramen Chef! One Meso ramen, please!" yelled Naruto.

Suddenly Tenten's eyes lit up. "Hey, guys, who wants to go on a camping trip?"

Suddenly, everyone got a vision of... hamsters and falling pianos.

And screamed.

**OoOoOoOoOoO**

Yes, that's the end... :sob: IT WAS OVER TOO SOON!

Okay, as soon as I can put it up, there will be a dedication chapter to all of you who helped me out, praised me, me, or even just reviewed more than three times. I love you all, and in November, look out for the sequel: _Campfire Geeks II: Ski Lodge Geeks._ It has a winter setting.

Plus, soon I'll be doing that complete opposite fanfic. Watch out for that!

For the last time...

-Natsyourlord


	20. Dedications and Sneak Peeks

Okay, people. Here is a dedication chapter to Campfire Geeks, which is sadly over, and a sneak preview to Campfire Geeks 2: Ski Lodge Geeks, the next chapter of Rock Lee's Dating Service, and Naruto Flipped. You guys deserve something, right? Okay, anyways, here are the people who are being recognized:

**nightmare car:** You created Jack the Piethrower. Go, you!

**magicfluffydemon:** You've been reviewing since as long as I can remember!

**Kawaii-Chibi-Naruto:** Yeah, I did. You must be so proud! (sob)

**maniackiller 12:** Sporks are evil devices.

**DosuTheSoundDrill:** Hey, you've been reviewing since as long as I can remember, too!

**darkavatar13: **Well, at least it has a sequel! Lena, get her to stop blubbing.

**ZukoKrazy: **If you're who I think you are, HOW THE HELL DID YOU TRACK ME DOWN!

**serenitatis417: **Feh, sorry I didn't use your idea.

**BlueDragon212: **Uh... yeah. Sure. Let's go with that.

**Princess Fluffy3: **YOU RULE! BUt for the last time, THESE ARE NOT THE FLUFFIES! RYAN IS THE RULER OF THE FLUFFIES! GET. THAT. INTO. YOUR. HEAD!

**Akino blossoms:** Yea, well... k.

**lady awesome: **You. Are. AWESOME!

Yeah, well, that's all I can think of. If I missed you, you still rule! Seriously!

Here are the three sneak peeks!

_Campfire Geeks 2: Ski Lodge Geeks_

_"Man, I can't believe I got dragged into going skiing." muttered Shikamaru. "I mean, this seat could fall off the wire any second, and then we'd all die. This is so troublesome."_

_Ino sighed. "Oh, shut up, lazy-ass. You realize we're going on a green circle, right? Those are the easiest, except for the Bunny Slope, and that's for beginners like Neji."_

_Shikamaru nodded. He still couldn't believe Neji didn't know how to ski. It was actually pretty funny._

_Then, in the chair ahead of them, they saw a certain black-haired boy with the Uchiha symbol on his helmet jump off the ski lift and start snowboarding down Challenge, a double-black-diamond, laughing manaiacally all the while. "Victory will be mine!" he yelled in a british accent, before smacking into Chouji, who just happened to be an excellent skiier._

_"GAH!" Chouji yelled, hitting Sasuke with his poles. Sasuke just kept laughing evilly._

_Rock Lee's Dating Service!_

_L: B-but... where's Gai-sensei?_

_K: He's lactose intolerant. Too bad for him, he ate cheese._

_Naruto, Flipped_

_Sasuke's eyes widened in horror as he looked at Mizuki._

_"Don't listen to him, Sasuke!" yelled Mizuki from the shed. "He's trying to trick you!" Sasuke looked from Mizuki to Iruka, not sure who to believe._

_Iruka began to laugh. "Ha! Mizuki, you idiot. All I want is the Scroll of Sealing! Sasuke, don't you see, he just wants to get the scroll from you! After all, inside you dwells the same demon that killed his parents! But... why bother keeping you alive? I can just kill you and take the Scroll for myself!" With that, Iruka took one of the giant shurikens from his back and threw it at Sasuke._

_"Sasuke! Duck!" yelled Mizuki. Sasuke began to try and stumble to his feet, but the shuriken was coming too fast... He couldn't dodge it..._

Okay, that's all for sneak peeks. You'll have to wait until they come out to read more!

This is the real end of Campfire Geeks... for now.

-Natsyourlord


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